Stoley Studios
by RatherOddRanger
Summary: UPDATED CHAPTER 10! Following the death of his father and a failed acting career, Stan Marsh found himself back in the town of South Park and stuck in a dead end job. However following a phone call from his ex-fiancee, and with the help of adult film directors Kevin and Lola Stoley, he's life is about to change in a way he'd never imagine. Rated M for mature themes contains Stendy.
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I do not own South Park or any of the characters.

A/N: Big shout out and thank you to Majuscule Milquetoast for beta reading, hopefully like her you'll enjoy this too.

**Stoley Studios**

**Chapter 1**

Stan Marsh stood in front of the full body mirror inside the studio's dressing room. He looked at his costume he was required to wear for the shot, it was a very nice replica of the Bane outfit from Batman: The Animated Series, even down to the large tube in the back of the neck area.

He let out a long sigh, was he really ready to do this? Should he be doing this? Was the $200 worth it?

Wendy was right, he was making more filming this scene then he did an entire week at his old job. ''You'll be paid $200 to fuck me!'' She had told him alongside ''I've missed you Stan, breaking up with you was a stupid mistake, I'm sorry, please take me back.''

He paused to think, had she really missed him or had she merely sought him out thinking just so she could make some money?

He shook his head, ''No'' He mentally screamed at himself ''She said she still loves you, she was even still wearing the engagement ring … Wait …. Shit! Are we still engaged? I forgot to ask!''

He had got so caught up in the rekindling of their relationship, his shitty job, the fantastic make up sex and caring to his depressed mother that he had actually forgotten to ask.

''Stan?'' He heard Wendy's voice behind him. He turned to see her dressed in a grey spandex Catwoman suit based very much on the 90s cartoon series.

After all they were starring in a porn parody based on that series, the costumes had to look close to the cartoon designs as possible.

''Are you ok sweetie?'' She asked him, there was genuine concern in her voice.

''Yeah ..'' He replied slowly. ''Just a bit nervous is all.''

Wendy put her hand on his shoulder, slowly moving it up and down in a reassuring manner.

''It's ok, everyone gets nervous on their 1st shot but don't worry about it. Trust me you'll forget the cameras are even there once we get started.'' She leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss on the lips before turning to get her props like the infamous Catwoman whip.

''Are we still engaged?'' Stan asked which caused Wendy to spin around wide eyed in shock ''I … Wha?.. I mean … I'm sorry?'' she stammered to get out.

''You … you never returned my ring after our break up last year … and .. And you said you were still in love with me when we went for that coffee 3 weeks ago…'' Stan said nervously.

'Stan …'' Wendy replied, she too sounded nervous. ''Like I said, breaking up with you 5 months because I was jealous over you getting that role was stupid. I was just being a jealous bitch.''

''That's not what I meant Wendy, I mean did you still want to marry me or not?'' Stan asked her.

''I never returned your ring but it's been so long Stan.'' She pulled out the ring from underneath her costume, she had it attached as a necklace. ''I've been wearing it for luck when I did the lesbian movies, man those paid well but I've just missed my parents so much which is why I moved back.''

''Plus Lola and Kevin now own a porn studio, here in our home town of all places.'' Stan said with a chuckle.

Wendy laughed. ''Yeah that too, but I was also worried, I mean I missed your dad's funeral, hell I didn't know until Lola told me, so I just assumed you would be angry with me.''

Stan looked to the ground, no offence to Wendy but he didn't want to think about his dad's funeral roughly 10 minutes before his 1st porno shoot. Wendy however did notice she struck a nerve.

''Sorry'' She said softly. ''That's the last thing you need to think about.''

Stan looked up at Wendy and saw the concern in her eyes, he took a deep breath and decided to be honest.

''I won't lie, I really wish you had been there but I can't blame you, we both cut all contact, hell you didn't even know I left LA and I'll be honest I didn't realise I was until my mom had her breakdown. Losing my dad hit her hard and finding only that shitty cleaning job at McDonalds didn't help me feel better.''

He walked over to Wendy placed his hands on her shoulders and pulled her into a very loving kiss. Wendy wrapped her arms around his waist pulling him closer to her, she really wished she could stop time and enjoy this moment.

Regrettably however Stan broken the kiss, but still kept her close, so close their noses were touching threw the fabric of their face masks.

''But … getting that call out of the blue from you, seeing how you clearly did miss me that cheered me up. I won't lie I was taken aback when you mentioned Kevin and Lola's offer and like you said, how is it anymore degrading then cleaning vomit off the floor?''

He gave Wendy a little kiss on the nose.

''I won't lie, a little bit nervous especially as you told me this is your first straight porn scene.''

Wendy nodded, ''Yeah Kevin and Lola pretty much have a couples only roles for certain actors, they say it makes the sex look less fake. Granted they have a few exceptions like Kenny who's just a man whore but they won't force us to have sex with anyone else if we don't want to.''

''Is that why you called me?'' He asked.

''Well that and I did miss you and still love you.'' She leaned forward and kissed him again. ''I do still want to marry you Stan but I'm in no rush. Let's get things sorted first like help your poor mother and maybe a place together you know? One step at a time.''

Stan nodded, that was a good enough answer for him.

''So short version, yes?'' He asked with a goofy smile only to have Wendy roll her eyes and playfully tap him on his head calling him silly.

A knock was heard at the door followed by a voice.

''Guys? We're about ready to shoot the scene'' Jason called them. ''Lola just wants to double check if you need make up before we get the cameras rolling, see on set in 5 ok?''

''Tell Lola we're ready!'' Wendy shouted to him before turning back to Stan. ''Are we?'' She asked him.

''With you?'' He asked. ''Yeah I could do anything!''

Soon they were on the set, it was a rooftop building replica up against a green screen, pretty basic stuff but the rooftop itself did look like something from a Batman movie.

Years of working on various fan films had helped Kevin learn the best way to make a decent or passable set within a budget and Stan was pretty impressed.

Kevin walked up to him and patted him on the shoulder, ''You ok?'' he asked his newest star.

''Yeah'' Stan replied ''This looks a lot better then some of the movies I played an extra in.''

''This is our rooftop set, we originally built it for the gay Batman movie Lola wanted to make'' Kevin began as he walked Stan around. ''Seeing how it took us like 3 days to build it we decided to keep it seeing how we're taking over the super hero sub genre in the porn market''

''Yeah this would be perfect for a Spider-Man porno.'' Stan replied smiling, there was something he wouldn't say no to making.

''Tempting but two have already been made, maybe once another movie is released. Then again, it's not like there aren't other heroes we could parody …'' Kevin placed his hand under his chin as he thought what else was left.

''Scarlet Spider?'' Stan asked.

''Tempting, heck we've got Jason do some research on a Nightwing movie plus Arrow is doing well on TV. Man we'd make a small fortune if we did a Deadpool movie based on the comics, heck we could stick the Taskmaster and Sandy in there easily.'' Kevin said with a smiling forming.

''Here's an idea!'' His wife Lola shouted across the set to them. ''How about we finish this movie first before we decide on the next?'' She finished crossing her arms partly in frustration, they were 2 days overdue and still had another scene to film after this one.

Lola was just thankful they hadn't filmed it in scene order, otherwise they would have 3 more scenes to film including this one.

''Sorry sweetness, let me just give Stan his directions.'' Kevin replied with a quick kiss on Lola's cheek. Stan let out a light chuckle, it still amazed him the schools 'king of the nerds' managed to marry a cheerleader, a girl voted 2nd hottest in the class at one point.

''Just make it quick ok hon?'' She asked in a much more happier tone. 'Douglas and Emily will be here within 2 hours and their babysitter can only stay until 9pm today.''

''Relax sweetness this'll will only take a minute.'' Kevin turned to me, his eyes screamed 'shut up and listen', it was work time.

''Ok Stan …'' He began. 'First you fake back break Kenny over there, then in gratitude Wendy is going offer to fuck you. After you make out I want you to turn her around and press your hard-on up against her butt crack and then grab and squeeze her tits.''

Stan nodded. ''Got it.''

'Feel free to rip parts of it open especially around the breasts, we've got another 3 spare and I doubt we'll film another Batman related parody in a long time'' Lola commented before someone was trying to get her attention.

''Ah Bluecap needs to double check something, see you fellas in a minute.'' She said as she walked over to Bluecap their cameraman.

''Yeah like Lola said, feel free to rip it open to squeeze Wendy's breasts or lower for when you eat her out ok.''

Stan nodded, ''Right, you ok with me making a rip that REALLY exposures her for the close up?'' Stan commented, making sure he was emphasising the 'really'.

Kevin clicked his fingers and nodded at Stan.

''Bingo, as your squeezing them, try and rub her pussy as well, get moaning and then she'll turn round and give you a blow job. Don't cum and try your best to hold back as I then want you to go down on her before you start really fucking her hard, then you can cum anywhere, pussy, stomach, face etc, just anywhere really.''

He nodded at Kevin as he took everything he was telling him in, he seriously had no idea a porn shoot was this complex,. He thought it was just a basic 'fuck your girlfriend and get paid' deal.

Granted he wasn't complaining.

''Ok, any questions? And keep in mind if you want to back out, I have no problem. You have to feel comfortable and willing to do this Stan. Wendy said she would only do straight porn with you and to be honest I don't mind. Got the same deal with Douglas and Emily, heck me and Lola were the same when we did the Star Trek ones.'' Kevin told him as he put his hand on his shoulder, he was clearly worried Stan would freak out or something.

Stan took a deep breath and nodded, he was ready to official become an adult film star.

''Ok let's do this.'' He said smiling.

''Yes.'' Kevin fist pumped into the air, with one hell of grin on his face. ''Good man, that's what I want to hear!''

''But …'' Stan began. ''I have one question.''

''Go ahead.'' Kevin replied.

''Is Kenny just going to lay there when I fake break his back and watch me and Wendy as we fuck in front of h-?''

'Relax.'' Kevin interrupted. ''Kenny's a professional, he's done a good chunk of these movies with me and Lola. He won't get his dick out and start jacking off if that's what your worried about.''

Stan stared at Kevin for a minute before bursting into a fit of laughter, Kevin soon followed but then the pair of them had to put their game faces back on when Lola called them both over.

Kenny was ready and waiting to film, granted he looked a little hung over from the drinking session he had with Stan last night but he wasn't needed to do much thankfully.

Soon all three of them found their marks and within a minute Kevin shouted 'ACTION!' and they were a go.

''Alright Catwoman!'' Kenny barked as he pulled out a batarang ''You coming in quietly or do I have to make this difficult.''

''I doubt it Batman'' Wendy cooed at him, her eyes fixed on Stan who was hiding in the shadows. ''My friend has other ideas.''

That was Stan cue, he jumped out roaring 'BATMAN' at the top of his lungs and grabbed Kenny unawares by the shoulder, pulling him down to his knee, screaming ''I BREAK THE BAT!''

As soon as he felt Stan's knee on his backside Kenny let out the fake scream and soon fell to the floor as Stan threw him down hard, thankfully the SFX would be added later to make it sound more realistic.

Stan looked at his friend laying there on the studio floor as he wiggled in pain, his face was facing away from the camera, so Kenny gave him a wink to show he was ok.

Stan was actually partly scared he would injure Kenny by mistake when he first read the script.

''Now feline …'' Stan said trying to make his voice as deep and gravel like as possible. ''My payment for assisting you?''

Still in character Wendy licked the back of her hand, not once breaking eye contact with Stan.

''Keep your shirt on Bane …'' She began as she seductively walked over to her fiancée, wrapping her arms around his neck, her face inches away from his.

''Or rather take it off'' She said as they kissed.

A thought went through Stan's mind as Wendy let out a small moan as he tightly squeezed her left arse cheek hard.

''Wendy was right …'' He thought. ''You do forget the cameras are there …''


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: I do not own South Park or any of the characters.

A/N: One again big shout out and thank you to Majuscule Milquetoast for beta reading and thank you for all of the positive reviews. I won't lie I was a bit worried people wouldn't like the content of this one. Anywho here's chapter 2 early for you folks. Please enjoy.

''I was just wondering.'' Stan began. ''How on earth did you and Lola manage to set up a porn studio anyway? In our home town?'' He questioned before taking a sip of his beer.

At this moment in time Stan was currently sitting in a bar alongside Kevin, Lola and his fiancée Wendy. You wouldn't believe a mere 5 hours ago they had just finished filming Stan's first scene as an adult film star.

The rest of the cast and crew from that day had headed home, Douglas and Emily's babysitter had to go at 9pm, Kenny was still hung over and even at one point started snoring during the film, Bluecap had decided to hit the gay bar in hopes of getting lucky and Jason had promised his room mates a nice home cooked meal.

Kevin looked to his wife and then back at Stan who's question had taken him back a bit. He wasn't offended but more confused that Wendy hadn't told him the complete back story or that he hadn't heard it from word of mouth.

Then again probably for the best, if Stan didn't know the about the purchase history then maybe he didn't know how his father really died.

''Well as cliché as it sounds, it's a bit of a long story.'' Kevin began but then took a very long and deep breath. ''But before that I need to be honest with you about your dad.''

Lola's eyes widen in shock the second her husband mentioned Stan's dad, she turned to Wendy who looked away awkwardly.

That's when Lola realised, she hadn't told him, she assumed she had.

''Crap.'' Lola mumbled.

''My dad?'' Stan asked confused. ''What does my dad have to do with your company?''

''Stan …'' Wendy quickly interjected. 'Please believe us when we say, we thought you knew otherwise we would have told you.''

''Knew what?'' Stan asked a bit annoyed. ''Why are you guys suddenly acting so strange when I asked you a question and now bringing up my late father?''

''Stan … '' Kevin began nervously. ''Your dad helped us out in a BIG way, he vouched for us during the initial purchase proceedings and even offered us a good chunk of money for the down payment. Without that money we wouldn't of been able to buy the building and the latest cameras and editing software at the same time.''

''So my dad was a sort of co-owner?'' He asked confused.

''Sort of …'' Lola took over. ''Your dad signed over his half of the studio to us in exchange for a few favours.''

''FAVOURS!?'' Stan asked wide eyed.

''He wanted to make and direct a few of his own movies.'' Kevin said with a small sigh. ''Including a adult biopic about his life, from high school, to college, to his boy band career, to meeting your mom and then ending on his wedding night.''

''HIS WEDDING NIGHT!?'' Stan shouted.

''Sweetie please calm down.'' Wendy asked as she rushed over to calm him down, grabbing his shaking hand and squeezing it hard. ''You know what your dad was like, he always wanted to have fun.''

''I … I ….'' Stan stammered.

''But we were a bit worried about doing the biopic so we decided to help him get his sea legs so to speak. We let him direct one of the Star Trek parodies we filmed, it's still in post-production, needs a good edit including a score.'' Kevin said trying his best to reassure Stan.

''And he kept pushing to do a Murder She Wrote parody because he still found the original actress hot!'' Lola added.

''Isn't she like 80 now? Who on Earth could we get to play her?'' Kevin asked.

''Our former elementary school Principal said she'd be interested.'' Lola added.

''I … I …'' Stan continued to stammer, his eyes wide with shock.

''But then during one shot that's when he had the heart attack that killed him. I'm so sorry Stan.'' Kevin said with genuine sincere.

''Probably best not to mentioned he died in the same studio we just filmed the Bane scene in today.'' Lola pointed out to her husband in a whisper.

''I … I …'' Stan continued to stammer, his eyes going even wider with shock and horror.

''O sweetie come here.'' Wendy said as she grabbed Stan's head and held it tight to her chest. ''It's ok to cry sweetie.''

Silence then flew upon the group, Wendy raised an eyebrow.

''Stan? … Sweetie?'' She asked as she looked down at him, his face bright red alongside a giant grin.

''Actually … I'm pretty ok with my face buried into your boobs like this.'' He mumbled. ''O yeah …. Definitely missed these …. O yeah …. So comfy … so warm …. So soft …''

Stan let out a low moan as he buried his face deeper into Wendy's cleavage whilst Wendy giggled, just like her fiancée she had missed this too or to be more precise, she had missed him.

_Elsewhere_

Jason turned off the hot tap as he placed the last of the dishes into the sink. He had just made a lovely (or what he called lovely) pasta meal of baked beans, chicken and ham for his 'room mates' or to be more precise, his late best friends widow and young son.

Jason let out a long sigh, god he missed Francis, they were the best of friends growing, super best friends even just like Stan and Kyle. They both had each other's back, whether it was from hanging out or getting into fights like during that whole Stick Of Truth fiasco which funny enough reminded him.

He really needed to give Douchebag and Annie a call and see how they were doing in Washington, they had to move due to Annie's new job around the time of … Francis's funeral …

Good lord the image of Francis's 5 year old son Scotty, Jason's god son clinging to him as he cried, asking ''Why does Daddy have to go?''

The sound of the fridge closing soon brought Jason out of his thoughts as he jumped a little.

''Sorry.'' Kelly asked. ''Didn't realise you were so deep in thought, penny for your thoughts?''

Jason laughed. ''How about the company of lovely lady instead?''

Kelly giggled and a worried look soon formed on her face.

''Were you thinking abo-'' She began before Jason cut her off.

''Yeah … well the … funeral, well Scotty … it just popped into my head, you know?'' He stopped to take a deep breath.

''It's the little things that brings the memories back … and the emotions.'' Kelly began as she started rubbing her left arm uneasily.

Feeling guilty Jason went over to pull her into a sympathy hug, the same kind of hug they've both got used to over the past year.

The same kind of hug Jason gave her at Francis's funeral, the same kind Kelly had given him when he help her collect the ashes and he broke down seeing little Scotty hug that tiny box so tight.

The same kind they often give each other at night since she and Scotty moved in, after they lost their house, unable to keep up with the payments.

Kelly rested her head against Jason's shoulder, ''This feels nice.'' She said.

''I promised him I'd take care of you two on his death bed.'' Jason reluctantly said.

''I know, you're a good man Jason for taking us in. Still can't believe Esther dumped you.'' Kelly commented as she lean closer to Jason, who hadn't noticed.

''Yeah nothing says you've been dumped then a dear john letter during your 1st year of university whilst your girlfriend is in China studying. Did you know Kevin still feels guilty over that because he introduced the guy to her? I keep telling him how was he supposed to know?'' He rambled until he noticed how close Kelly face was to his.

''Um … Kelly?''

''You're a good man Jason, Francis often said that.'' She said as she ran her fingers through his hair. ''He often said, once he found out he was terminal he knew you'd make sure we'd be ok.''

''Kelly …'' Jason said, almost like a whisper, he was feeling uneasy where this was heading. ''I … you're my best friends wife.''

''Widow''. She said coldly. 'I'm your late best friends widow.'' She took a deep breath before continuing.

''Francis has been gone for a year, I need to move on and I … No … I KNOW I can with you.''

''I was best man at your wedding.'' Jason blurted out. ''I … I don't know … I'm not saying I don't find you attractive.'' Jason stopped and mentally cursed himself.

''Jason you're a great guy, you've never asked for rent, you've paid for everything we needed until I was able to get myself together emotionally to find a job. You could have easily demanded to have sex with me in return.''

''Jesus Kelly'' Jason let out ''You were a mess, Scotty didn't leave his bed for a week, I couldn't turn you away like that. Besides you didn't owe me anything, we needed each other at the time, to help each other mourn.''

''And move on!'' She added sharply and before he could reply, she kissed him.

At first Jason didn't move, he actually started to kiss back, he couldn't fight it, Kelly was still an attractive woman after all. However and reluctantly he did, Kelly looking at him in confusion but he had to get this off his chest.

''I can't replace Francis.'' He stated.

''You're not.'' She smiled. 'But I do need to move on and Scotty needs a dad.''

Jason was about to interject but Kelly put a finger to his lips.

''And I'm not asking you to replace his real dad but you can't deny he does look to you like a father.''

Jason let out another sigh and nodded before giving Kelly a quick kiss on the lips.

''Ok.'' He began. ''But on one condition.''

''Ok.'' Kelly asked wide eyed and confused.

''Let me take you out to dinner, like a real date or something before we …. You know …'' Jason said as he made a little nod on the last two words.

Kelly blushed a little. ''I won't lie, it's been a year for me.''

''Yeah well….'' Jason began. ''It's been nearly two for me but you deserve to be treated like a lady, so this Saturday, we'll ask your in-laws to baby sit Scotty and we can go see a movie or get some dinner at a fancy restaurant …''

''And then back here for some private time?'' Kelly asked as she seductively licked her lips, Jason slowly but most definitely nodded with a smile.

''You … You really find me attractive?'' Jason asked in shock however the only reply he got was Kelly mumbling 'silly, yet handsome boy' as she pulled him into another long kiss.

This time however Jason didn't break it.

Kenny took another swig from his glass of water, he was thirsty as hell and was determined to get over this hangover.

He was 3 quarters of the way there and was still kicking himself for falling asleep during Stan's first scene as an adult film star, he promised him he'd 'review his technique' so to speak.

Thank his lucky stars he hadn't started snoring.

A thought then entered Kenny's mind, his childhood friend Stan, one of only a handful of kids who never gave him crap for being poor was now his co-star in a porn-SORRY, 'adult' movie. Kevin kept insisting they call them that, sounds better in interviews or when Kyle's mom gives them crap during the town hall meetings.

Kenny let out an annoyed grunt, he couldn't help but think that woman would shut up if she had a real good hard fuck from someone who could actually hold an erection for more then 30 seconds.

Of course Kenny wasn't going to volunteer, he had sworn off doing a friends mom after that one time he was 18 and washing windows for Mrs Marsh when she and her husband had gone on a trial separation.

Granted it was a great way to lose your virginity when your 18, plus Stan's mom was mega hot back then but again it was STAN'S mom.

The mother of one of his closet friends when growing up for heaven's sake, what the hell had he been thinking!? O yeah …. She was a smoking hot milf and had a pair of awesome tits.

Kenny chuckled to himself as he took a large gulp from his beer as he continued his trip down memory lane.

The next day the realisation had hit Kenny hard and he swore he wouldn't do something like that again, granted Mrs Marsh did say thank you alongside a very generous tip which put food on the table for a good month at his house.

However Stan never found out and he doubt Mr Marsh had either.

''Mr Marsh'' Kenny mumbled as he took a long and loud gulp from his water before holding it up to the sky. ''Here's to you good sir! Thanks for always making me feel welcome in your home, sorry I banged your wife mind you. Hope your not too pissed off up there or down there.''

He laughed as he then drank the remainder of his water whilst Karen his little sister stared at him in complete shock.

She had been sitting next to him this entire time.

''Kenny …'' She began. ''What the actual fuck!?''


	3. Chapter 3

DISCLAIMER: I do not own South Park or any of the characters.

A/N: I swear Majuscule Milquetoast is a miracle worker when it comes to beta reading.

_The Past_

''That fucking bitch!'' 18 year old Kevin Stoley shouted at the top of his lungs after he finished his beer and then threw it hard onto the ground, smashing it completely.

''Waiting for marriage my arse! Red is a fucking two timing cheap slut!'' He shouted angrily towards Token Black's mansion, he didn't care if the rich prick heard him or not, he was too drunk and heart broken to care.

''I HOPE YOU GET A FUCKING STD YOU BITCH!'' He screamed even louder as he grabbed another beer from the 6 pack he and Lola 'helped' themselves to earlier.

''Fucking rich jackass!'' Lola said with bitterness and anger in her voice. ''No wonder Nicole ditched him in the end, he thinks he can act like his idol Tiger Woods with all of his money …''

She took a rather long and loud slurp from her beer, just like Kevin, Lola was feeling cheated, upset and heart broken after finding her boyfriend of 3 months banging Kevin's on/off girlfriend since elementary school Red.

''Correction.'' She started as she then crush her now empty beer can in her hand. ''His daddy's money!''

Lola finished as she threw her now empty can into the Black family fountain before checking the footage she recorded onto her phone.

She replayed as the anger filled her face, seeing her boyfriend who had been BEGGING her to give him a blowjob getting one and more, SO MUCH more from another guys girlfriend.

She glanced up at Kevin as he finished his third beer and crushed the empty can in his hands. After he threw it into the fountain he glanced over at Lola who could see the hurt and anger in his eyes. He looked back at her or to be precise her phone.

''How much did you record?'' He asked, his gaze never leaving the object in her hands.

''About just under 15 minutes of that two timing slut sucking off the rich prick who uses his money to cover up his small … 'heritance' so to speak.'' She stated as a mischievous grin appeared on her face at that last part.

''That it? I thought we recorded more?'' Kevin questioned as he grabbed another beer.

''That's the 1st half, the rest is when he was pounding her doggy style shouting how he was He-Man and screaming 'by the power of my giant black dick!' or some crap like that.'' Lola stated whilst typing away.

Kevin let out a 'pfft' sound as he opened his fourth beer of the evening. ''It wasn't that big, hell I'm probably bigger.''

Lola raised an eye brow at Kevin's comment, she had a two planned attack at getting revenge at Token for cheating on her and judging by Kevin's current state she had no doubt he'd have no objections.

''This'll be uploaded within 10 minutes onto youtube, then facebook where I'll tag it so even their folks will see it.'' She stated as she grabbed the last beer.

''I'm sure Red's dad will love waking up in the morning to see his baby girl getting fucked doggy style.''

Kevin let out a laugh. ''Pissed won't even describe it, they're like your friend Jenny's family, very strict Christians, they're all no sex before marriage and junk like that.''

He took another swig from his beer.

''Never really liked the guy but boy I would love to see the look on his face and the rest of their church friends when that video hits facebook.'' He clicked his fingers with a huge grin.

''Fuck didn't Token sleep with Testaburger and that's why Nicole ditched him? I bet Marsh would love some payback!''

''TRIED TO'' Lola stated. ''He tried to get into Wendy's panties so she crushed his balls to the point he screamed like a girl. She's surprisingly loyal to Stan, bizarrely.''

Kevin shrugged and wobbled at the same time but thankfully kept his balanced. ''I stand corrected.'' He stated as he let out a small laugh. ''Well I guess that's cool, Stan not that bad a guy, he's never given me shit like 'goddamn it Kevin' unlike a certain fat fuck!''

Lola grinned as she knew exactly who Kevin was talking about. ''If Eric Cartman killed himself I'd be the first in line to spit on his corpse.'' She stated remembering what the fat fuck had done to her best friend Jenny.

''I wouldn't even piss on him if he was on fire.'' He drank some of his beer. ''I'd just throw beer on him to make the fire bigger.''

A blip sound came from Lola's mobile stating upload complete. It was funny, this is probably the longest she's ever talked to Kevin Stoley AKA King of the Nerds that didn't involve school work and she was actually enjoying it.

She decided to take the risk as she pulled out a set of keys from her pocket.

''These are the keys to Token's dad's favourite car, it's like some 50s hot rod thing they've spent years and a hell of a lot of money on trying to refurbish it and make road worthy again.''

''So we grab say Stan and or Dovahkiin and smash it up?'' Kevin asked grinning.

''Why Dovahkiin?'' Lola asked confused.

A frown appeared on Kevin's face. ''Annie's dad was injured at work pretty bad so her family are struggling financially at the moment. Rumour has it Token offered her $100 for a quick fuck so yeah you can imagine her then ex-boyfriend wasn't too happy when she went crying to him about it.''

''Ah.'' Lola began. ''That explains how they got back together but no I had something more extreme in mind.''

She walked up to Kevin slowly and placed her hand on his chest, leaning forward to plant a quick kiss as her hand slowly moved towards it until reaching it's prized and giving it a small squeeze.

Kevin closed his eyes and moaned out ''O fuck yeah …'' Under his breath.

''You're not a bad guy Kevin, I mean you helped me pass my maths test last year so here's the deal.'' She began and Kevin opened his eyes and stared into hers. ''We're going to fuck like rabbits in Token's dad's favourite and expensive hot rod car and we're going to make sure we mess it up along the way. We're going to stain those expensive leather seats, smash the radio, fucking smash the windows and cut the tires. We'll also pour sugar into the engine to fuck it up but the main aim is to make it as messy as we can by fucking in it! You in?''

Kevin nodded as Lola's grip on a certain body part soon turned into a massage.

''Lose my virginity to a super hot cheerleader and get back at the prick who's currently fucking my ex-whore of a girlfriend? You bet I'm in but on one condition.'' He stated through heavy breathing his gaze never leaving Lola's.

''Oh?'' Lola playfully asked before letting out a playful yelp as Kevin grabbed her ass tight and pulled her closer to him.

''I want to lick your pussy until you squirt all over those nice expensive leather seats. Hell you don't even have to sleep with me, please just let me lick that pussy of yours until you cum all over my face and stain those ever so expensive leather seats.'' Kevin stated in a almost pleading manner.

At first Lola didn't answer, Kevin's confidence had caught her off guard but she had him begging to eat her out until she cums also turned her on.

She smiled at him as she undid his zipper and slid her hand into his boxers to double check something. Kevin let out a small moan but was quickly silenced with another quick kiss from her.

''O yeah.'' She began. ''This naughty nerd is definitely twice the size of the rich prick inside, hmmm yeah definitely want a taste of this.'' She stated before leading Kevin by the hand towards the garage.

The idea that she was going to be his first time and that it was going to be filthy was driving her crazy.

The Present

''And after he demonstrated his superb pussy eating skills I knew I had to marry him.'' Lola said smiling as Kevin was gently nibbling on her neck, one hand under her shirt whilst the other was …

''Oooo Kevin sweetie, you can have my ass when we get home. Such a naughty boy.'' She said licking her lips.

''God you're beautiful.'' Kevin commented as he lifted his head. ''And every time you tell that story it turns me on like a rabbit in heat.'' He then went back to kissing his wife's neck as Lola let out a ''O Kevin …'' in a soft moan.

''Wow …'' Stan said wide eyed as he took in what his new bosses had just told him. ''That's one hell of a first time story.'' He commented as he turned to Wendy.

''Huh, also wondered who uploaded that video and who trashed Token's car.'' She said offhandedly.

''Considering the amount of DNA evidence we left, I'm amazed we never got caught.'' Kevin stated in-between kissing his wife's neck in various spots before finally stopping to control himself.

''Home time sweetie?'' Lola questioned.

''Fuck yeah baby.'' Kevin hurriedly said as he got up and put on his jacket. ''I need you bad today.''

Lola giggled as he gathered her things whilst Stan and Wendy looked on feeling a bit awkward.

''Pitch meeting tomorrow.'' Lola began. ''See you guys there ok.'' She wasted no time grabbing Kevin's arm and rushing out the bar alongside him.

Stan and Wendy could easily still hear Kevin say 'I love you' as they left alongside Lola commenting how much she wanted his ass.

''Wow … they make a pretty um …. 'unique' couple.'' Stan tried to joke.

''Yeah.'' Wendy nodded. ''It's a shame when you dig deeper.''

''Huh? What do you mean babe?'' He quizzed whilst drinking his beer.

Wendy took a deep gulp from her beer before resuming. ''Lola said it herself once, she wished her and Kevin could make a baby as easily as they could film a porn movie.''

Stan's eyes went wide when it hit him.

''O …'' He began. ''How long have they been trying?''

''Nearly 3 years now …'' Wendy said looking glum as Stan pulled her into a tight hug.


	4. Chapter 4

DISCLAIMER: I do not own South Park or any of the characters.

A/N: Thanks once again to Majuscule Milquetoast for the beat reading. Had to repost this one due to a canon error. Sorry about that.

...

''So how does it look?'' Lola asked her husband who had his head buried in several piles of paper work on his desk, largely invoices, bills, emails and various letters ranging from fan mail to angry South Park residents.

Despite their actions in buying the refurbished and expensive public service station and re-branding it as 'Stoley Studios' there were still some residents who weren't keen on having a adult film studio in their town.

Of course they probably didn't know if the studio didn't exist their taxes would sky rocket to cover the construction costs after Token Black Productions pulled out mid-construction.

'Got to love Mayor Butters …'' Kevin mumbled to himself until Lola leaning over his desk, in a rather seductive way caught his attention.

''Huh?'' Kevin asked in a almost goofy like manner until his eyes went wide and his jaw dropped.

'HOLY COW!'' He shouted as he looked at his wife who was currently wearing a very sexy looking Spider-Woman outfit. She got off his desk and walked over to the office mirror to admire herself.

''O yeah, if this fits me fine, Wendy will definitely have no problems wearing it.'' She commented as she did a twirl.

''Damn Jenny really out did herself this time!'' He commented as he licked his lips, admiring how the red leather did an amazing job showing off Lola's curves. ''Very nice … very sexy …''

Lola was too engrossed in the mirror in Kevin's office to notice her husband slowly walking over to her from behind.

Lola let out a small 'yelp' as Kevin grabbed her chest, pulled on the material covering them, which came apart exposing her breasts in all of their glory.

''Nice to see the Velcro straps work fine.'' He gave them a gentle squeeze. 'Tell me the truth my sexy Lola, did you come into my office wearing his hoping to take care of some 'other' business before the meeting in an hour?'' He asked as he licked her earlobe.

''Mmmmm'' She purred. ''Won't lie, this costume does need a 'real test' run before we start filming next week.'' She made sure to empathize the words 'real test' before pulling her husband into a passionate kiss.

Kevin's right hand went lower and found the other Velcro strap covering another rather 'sensitive' area. Gently he pulled on it and it opened up with ease as Lola kissed his cheek.

''Of course as owner's of this company we have to ensure a certain level of health and safety to our talent'' He commented in a rather authoritative manner as he gently guided Lola over to his desk.

She slid onto it, pushing all of the papers off, they could re-sort them later she thought.

''It would be very unprofessional if we didn't ensure this well made costume wasn't completely safe for the very extreme filming we plan to use it for.'' He stated in a very business like manner as he unbuttoned his shirt.

''O but of course.'' Lola purred as her husband got on his knees in front of her however before he leaned forward he asked ''We've still got an hour before the writers meeting right?''

Lola let out a annoyed grunt, placed her hand on the back of Kevin's head and said ''Yes! Goddamn it Kevin! Now do what I married you for!'' As she pushed his head forward not noticing the huge grin on his face. Being a tease was part of the game.

...

Stan's hand was inches away from the door of Kevin's office, he was about to knock until he heard the sound of one of his bosses (namely Lola) moaning, panting and even screaming the words ''O baby yeah, that's it, right there, I fucking love you Kevin!''.

You didn't need to be rocket science genius like Ike to know what those two were up too.

He turned to leave only to see Brad AKA Bluecap walking up the hallway, ''Hey Stan, is Kevin free?''

Before Stan could answer a rather loud ''FUCK YES! RIGHT THERE! FUCKING LICK IT!'' could be heard from the office.

Stan's face turned red whilst Bluecap started to chuckle, he placed his hand over his mouth in an attempt to not laugh too loud mind.

Stan rolled his eyes and pointed to the other end of the hallway, Bluecap nodded and the pair were soon gone.

''So …'' Stan began. ''Does that happen often?''

''Everyday they're at it.'' Bluecap laughed. ''Kind of works in our favour, the crew and talent get to chill out if those two are relaxed before a shoot.''

''I guess with them always trying for a baby as well. Have they thought about adopting?'' Stan questioned.

''They were until the local bible lovers started a smear campaign against us. Took us a good 4 months to prove the crap they started was complete bull shit. Apparently being consenting adults to agree to fuck on camera alongside paying our taxes isn't a good enough reason for them.'' Bluecap replied, deep anger in his voice towards the end.

''Sorry I didn't mean to bring up bad memories'' Stan quickly said, trying to sound apologetic as possible.

Bluecap's eyes went wide. ''O no sorry dude it's not that, it's more to do with who's running the local bible nut jobs now because we know the real reason they hate us.''

''Who?'' Stan quizzed.

''Heidi Turner is the current chairwoman and she joined them after Craig divorced her. Apparently their marriage was so awful it turned him gay and trust me he is definitely gay now, I know.'' He commented as he raised his eye brows up and down. ''If you get what I mean?''

''O … Are you and Craig like a couple or something?'' Stan asked.

Bluecap shook his head. ''Nah, still single myself, I just happened to find Craig in Mr Slave's gay bar one night looking very awkward and unsure, so I offered to help him with a weekend of passion and a shoulder to cry on if he needed it.''

Stan eyes went wide again, he was so amazed at how cool and confident Bluecap was about his sexuality, he was always the quiet kid who people forgot about back in school.

''Won't lie.'' Bluecap began. ''I'm a bit jealous, Tweek's a very lucky man, heck we have a contract with them to get our coffee and breakfast stuff from his dad's place.'' A smile formed on Bluecap's face.

''You wouldn't believe it if I told you Craig Tucker was really into his cuddles would you? Guy was very sensual, the type of thing someone like Tweek badly needs you know.''

Stan nodded, he knew exactly where Bluecap was coming from.

''But as I was saying.'' Bluecap began. ''Heidi bizarrely blames us for making her ex-husband gay, apparently treating your husband like shit doesn't factor into her and Cartman's logic.''

''CARTMAN!? ERIC CARTMAN!?'' Stan borderline shouted

''Yep but he hooked up with them because Kevin told him to go fuck himself with his mom's dildo when he demanded we let him star in a Wild, Wild, West parody. Plus I'm sure the fact your dad convinced his mom and your uncle Jimbo to film some stuff for us didn't help.'' Bluecap laughed but then stopped as Stan stared at him in shock, his mouth a gasped.

''You … you did know your dad directed a few movies for us right?'' Stan nodded at Bluecap who contined.

''You did know about him hiring your uncle Jimbo and Ned to bang Cartman's mom right? Or Butter's folks? … Or Officer Barbrady? ….Or Thomas's mom? …. Or my moms? …. Or some strippers to help cheer up Clyde's dad? ….. You knew right?''

Stan just stood there in shock as Bluecap then started clicking his fingers to get a reaction out of Stan.

''O … crap …'' He mumbled as he rushed to find Wendy.

...

An hour passed and soon the meeting room was filled with the talent and crew ready for the pitch meeting. It was a once a week event at Stoley Studios as it usually took them a week to write up the script, get the costumes, props, etc before they even considered a shooting schedule.

Thankfully despite the earlier incident Stan was back to normal so to speak, largely thanks to Wendy giving him an 'old fashioned' which naturally helped.

''Ok.'' Kevin began as he used a towel to finish drying his hair. He and Lola had not long come out of the shower. ''So anyone got any ideas for films they'd like to star in or in Jason's case write?''

He quickly glanced over the room as usual talent wise Douglas, Emily and Kenny were there alongside the newbies Wendy and Stan. Granted they had other talent like Tammy, Lizzie, Tommy Edwards and the Goths but they were more 'part time' talent, this wasn't their full bread and butter so to speak.

Crew wise Jason the head writer had shown up as he was the one who usually made the film suggestions, Bebe their other writer and part time make up artist was still on vacation with her husband so she couldn't be there obviously.

Lola naturally was present as she's also head of make-up as well as co-owner of the studio. On very rare occasions talent if Kevin was playing Spock in a Star Trek parody.

Pete Melman had also shown up as he delivered the latest batch of costumes his talented wife Jenny Simon had made for them. He also on occasion did some editing work for them if full time editor Tommy Turner was busy who was currently sitting next to him as they were comparing notes before the meeting began.

''Well what hasn't been turned into a por-SORRY, I mean 'adult film' parody?'' questioned Douglas as he laid out some playing cards on the large office table. He had started a game of solitaire whilst waiting for everyone else and was determined to finish it.

''Better question.'' His wife Emily asked, ''What has been made into a parody and sucked SO BAD that we could remake it and do a better job?''

''Anything by XXX-Treme Comix!'' Tommy Turner, head editor said with the laugh which was soon followed by Kevin, Lola and Kenny laughing, the latter giving Tommy a high five.

''How about we do a parody about that bitch of a half sister of mine?'' He asked, Lola just rolled her eyes.

''No Tommy, like I said last time, do you really want us to get that sort of bad press?''

''Besides no one else besides this shit ass red neck mountain town knows who the hell she is!'' Douglas added.

Jason clicked his fingers. ''I've got it!'' He exclaimed with a smile.

Kevin let out a sigh, ''Jason for the last time we are not making Sonic XXX! I don't care how big and untapped the furry market is, it would take forever to clean the cum out of the fur-suits!'' He stated.

''But I have script all written.'' Jason quickly replied.

''I said no Jason!'' Kevin stated before turning back to the room. ''Anyone else?''

''How about Marvel Vs DC? You guys have got enough costumes and talent to pull it off and heck there's enough heroes to make it at least two to three movies tops.'' Pete added.

''I wouldn't say no to playing Batgirl again.'' Emily said as Douglas nodded. ''Yeah that was a fun shot yesterday, always been a Nightwing fan as a kid.''

''Tempting ….'' Kevin said as he stroked his chin, his only concern was if they could get enough talent to pull it off.

''If we're going to do a video game how about something with more human looking characters? Like Resident Evil or Tomb Raider?'' Emily added.

''Your just looking for any excuse for your husband to do you in a monster suit aren't you?'' Wendy laughed.

''My wife's a bit of a pervert.'' Douglas joked to Stan as Emily hit him playfully with a rolled up newspaper.

''I don't think A Resident Evil one has been made … well not involving tentacles and made in Japan …. '' Kevin said as he tried to think.

''Tomb Raider's been done to death mind. Heck there's even a lesbian one, Sally and me caught it the other week online.'' Tommy commented as he wrote down some notes.

''What happened to that Scarlet Spider one you mentioned to me?'' Stan asked.

''We've not got a plot fully laid out yet for Jason to write a script too nor a Scarlet Spider costume.'' Lola commented.

''Mario Bros?'' Kenny asked.

''Done to death, trust me I know.'' Jason added.

''If you wanted to do Halo I'm sure Jenny could make something that would open easily and comfortably for the crotch area.'' Pete commented as he started goggle searching for video game franchises on his mobile phone.

''Great now I've got this mental image of Master Chef sniping aliens or whatever he fights as two hot female G.I's give him a BJ through the dick hole in his crotch armour.'' Stan commented.

''Fuck I'd pay to watch that porn-I MEAN 'adult parody.'' Douglas said rather quickly to correct himself.

Wendy leaned over to Stan and started messing with his hair, ''Mmmm I wouldn't say no to filming that sweetie.''

''Wreck It Ralph?'' Kenny asked as he start throwing a small rubber ball up against the wall repeatedly.

''He's gonna wreck that pussy!'' Tommy joked, earning a loud gut laugh from Pete and Kenny.

Lola rolled her eyes before Emily added ''A Barbie parody would be fairly cheap to make.''

Kevin turn to the white board behind him and wrote the words 'Barbie' and 'Resident Evil' under the words 'Film Ideas' which was underlined.

''We need a few low budget ones in terms of costumes so Barbie is a definite green light but Resident Evil we'll need to do some more research on.'' He commented as he taped the whiteboard. ''Any other ideas? Because we're here for a full two hours gang.''

''Are these meetings always like this?'' Stan asked.

'No usually Jason and Kevin end up playing a game of Yu-Gi-Oh! To decide if they should make the Sonic porn parody or not.'' Kenny said before realising his mistake. ''ADULT MOVIE! I MEANT ADULT MOVIE!''

Jason then clicked his fingers, ''Hell yeah a Yu-Gi-Oh! Parody! That'll be piss easy and cheap to make!''

Kevin quickly wrote it down on the whiteboard and also made a mental note to himself to practice his best Dan Green impression.


	5. Chapter 5

DISCLAIMER: I do not own South Park or any of the characters.

A/N: Thanks once again to Majuscule Milquetoast for the beat reading. Also originally this was going to be a lot longer, however after realising how delayed this chapter had been I thought why not end on a cliffhanger of sorts.

...

''Well thanks Mark for the tip, I owe you and Nicole one …. What? …. Yes, yes you can totally have a copy of the Batman The Animated Series XXX when it's finished dude.'' Kevin said as he hit end call on his phone.

He then let out a long and loud sigh, this was something he didn't want to deal with today especially as they were all set to start filming Halo XXX within 2 hours.

Kevin placed his head in his hands whilst he grumbled in annoyance, not noticing or even hearing his wife enter the office wearing a rather 'interesting' outfit.

''Sweetie what's wrong?'' Lola asked as Kevin slowly lifted his head up and immediately his jaw dropped at the sight before him.

''I … I … I mean um …. Is that the newest outfit from Jenny?'' He finally managed to ask after his little stammer moment.

''I know right? It's so spot on in the detail.'' Lola giggled as she did a twirl, showing off the latest creation from her super best friend Jenny, it was a replica of the current female Captain Marvel costume from the Marvel comics series.

Kevin started to get up out of his chair, he needed a good distraction from the news Mark Cotswolds had just told him. Thank god they still had friends on the council committee he thought.

''No you don't.'' Lola commented as she walked over to her husband and pushed him back into his chair and within a flash was straggling him.

''I recognised that look on your face when I walked in.'' She began. ''It's the one you always have when you've had some bad news.'' She gave him a quick kiss before continuing.

''Now what is it sweetie?''

Kevin wrapped his arms around his wife's waist and took a deep breath and exhaled.

''We've got a new health and safety inspector assigned to us.'' He began.

Lola looked at Kevin confused. ''And that's bad because?''

''It's Kyle Broflovski.'' Kevin replied before burying his head into his wife's chest to let out an annoyed grunt.

Initially this had caught her off guard but Lola soon smiled as she brushed her fingers through Kevin's jet black hair.

''Relax I'll sort it, you go and film the Halo stuff ok?'' She said alongside a quick kiss to the lips.

Lola then placed her hands on Kevin's shoulders and proceeded to give him a quick massage to check something.

''Wow this has really stressed you out, you're so tense sweetie.'' She said as a mischievous smile formed on her face. ''We've got an hour until you're needed on set right?''

Kevin didn't answer he just got out of his chair, picking up his wife at the same time and gently placed her on his desk as she giggled to get his belt undone.

…

''O thank you Master Chief for saving us.'' Wendy cooed to Stan who was currently wearing a Master Chief costume, whilst Lizzie started to make a circle motion with her finger on his chest plate.

''Yeah those covenant aliens would have killed us or worse if you hadn't shown up.'' She said seductively as she licked her lips.

Both Wendy and Lizzie were currently dressed in the military uniform from the Halo game series, Kevin had wanted them to go full armour but Lola pointed out how awkward the undressing for the sex scenes would be.

Plus thanks to Jenny, Stan was currently wearing a full replica Master Chief armour with some slight alterations, namely around the crotch area for 'easy' access so to speak.

The film needed 5 scenes so the plan was, Stan would wear the armour for this scene and they'd dub over his voice so they could use him and Wendy again for later on.

Despite being a adult film star now, Stan still wasn't 100% comfortable having sex with anyone else but Wendy and only agreed to film this one alongside Lizzie as she would only be giving him a BJ before she and Wendy start a 69 and he'd then start banging Wendy as Lizzie ate her out at the same time.

He wasn't like Kenny or Tommy Edwards and didn't plan to be but damn this was still the best $200 he would ever earn.

Kevin had no problem agreeing to this, heck he and Lola suggested it and it wasn't like they hadn't done something similar before, Douglas and Emily were the same, they'd only film sex scenes with one another and no one else.

Well except that one time threesome but all Emily did was give Tommy a blowjob whilst Douglas fucked her.

''How can we ever thank you?'' Wendy asked as she leaned up against Stan, as he in turn wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her closer.

''Well…'' Stan began as his hand moved to grab Wendy's ass and squeezed it hard, she in turn letting out a playful 'oh!'. ''I've been in deep space for so long, I wouldn't say no to a little shore leave if you get my drift?''

''But what about the aliens?'' Lizzie asked acting with fake concern, slowly pulling down her jump suit zipper, showing off a little bit of cleavage. What she lacked in acting ability she definitely made up with those large tits of hers.

''Relax ensign, I killed them all, no one's going to interrupt our little strategy meeting.'' Stan replied as Kevin looked over at Jason who was operating the boom mic.

''I know it's not my best dialogue but I'm not a Halo fan remember?'' He stated as Kevin shrugged however both were soon focused again at the sound of a belt bucket being undone.

Both Wendy and Lizzie were on their knees in front of Stan, playing around and giggling as they opened up the crotch plate armour and soon fished out penis.

''Mmmm it looks tasty.'' Wendy said as she slowly stroked her fiancée whilst Lizzie leaned forward. ''Can I have first lick?''

It wasn't long until the studio was filled with nothing but the sounds of Stan moaning in pleasure as two hot babes were loudly sucking and slurping on his hard cock.

…

Elsewhere in the studio building, Lola Stoley had the 'honour' of escorting the South Park council's newest health and safety inspector namely a former school class mate named Kyle Broflovski.

It wasn't that Lola disliked or even hated Kyle, it was more due to the fact his mother was one of the council members opposed to them and was always trying to do something to make their jobs more difficult.

Heck she would hate to admit but she was positive Kyle's mom was more then likely is the reason he's a health and safety inspector assigned to them now.

Of course Lola doubted Mrs Broflovski knew her son was a fan of their gay themed adult movies she had directed such as the gay Batman one starring Kenny, thank god he was gay for pay.

''So Kyle how's life treating you? It feels like forever since we all left for college.'' Lola asked smiling.

''Not bad, could be better in regards to my dating life but I can't complain I guess. I mean it could be worse but I wouldn't say no to a date.'' He stated before letting out a rather loud sigh, his current lack of a love life was really hitting him hard.

''I'm guessing it's been a while since, well, you know?'' Lola asked with sympathy because at the end of the day, Kyle wasn't an arsehole like a certain giant fat bag of shit who shall remain nameless.

Kyle's eyes went wide after Lola asked her question and he realised what he had said.

''Sorry didn't mean to just drop it like that, it's just with the sex tape scandal involving Ike and the Canadian royal family, things at home have been a bit stressed. Trying to go to the bar to pick up a one night stand is kind low on my list of priorities sadly.'' He stated as he finished with another sigh.

''I didn't picture you as the type of guy who liked casual sex with strangers. I'm guessing afte-'' Lola was about to say before Kyle interrupted her.

''It's more to do with the fact I'm not ready to commit to a relationship again especially after the disastrous one I had a college.'' He began.

''I mean how was I supposed to know the guy in my dorm who I had been screwing for over 6 months was married to a woman?''

Lola's eyes went wide as Kyle dropped that bombshell, ''Wow …'' She simply mumbled.

She was about to take Kyle to the staff room to grab some coffee so he could finish up his paperwork when fate had other ideas.

''THAT'S IT SUCK ON HIS COCK! GAG ON IT YOU LITTLE WHORE!'' Wendy shouted at the top of her lungs.

Kyle's eyes went wide in shock. ''That sounded like Wendy ….'' He trailed off.

''Say Kyle how about that coffee?'' Lola asked nervously before he heard anything else more shocking.

''AH YEAH! TWIRL YOUR TONGUE AROUND IT! YEAH JUST LIKE THAT! FUCK YEAH!'' Stan shouted as Kyle's shocked expression turned into horror and Lola started cursing herself for not sound proofing the sets.

''Was that …. Stan?'' Kyle finally managed to blurt out. Lola let out a rather long and loud sigh at the question, she really wasn't in the mood for this.

''Look Kyle.'' She began. ''Stan is an adult, if he and Wendy want to paid $200 to have sex in costume as we record them, it's their choice ok?''

Kyle looked at the floor, then slowly at Lola and then nodded before asking ''$200?''

''YEAH THAT'S IT!'' Stan shouted again. ''LICK OUT HER PUSSY WHILST I FUCK HER!''

Soon all Kyle and Lola could hear was Wendy moaning and groaning, begging Stan to go 'harder, faster' in-between breaths.

There was only one question Kyle had to know the answer to, ''They are back together right? The wedding is back on right?'' he asked eyes full of worry.

Lola smiled and placed a hand on Kyle's shoulder, Stan was his super best friend and everyone had been concerned for him since his father's passing, Kyle most of all.

''Let's just say me and Kevin played a hand in getting those love birds back together. Granted it wasn't easy, Wendy was hating herself for breaking up with him over some lame movie role and for missing Randy's funeral. She didn't even know he had died until she moved back here and read the South Park Gazette during her interview for here.''

Kyle smiled at the news. 'And because of your couples rule you suggested to her to try and attempt to talk to Stan right?''

''Bingo.'' Lola replied. ''Plus more money for the wedding or a baby, depends really. Life is full of so many surprises.'' She chuckled as she reached into her pocket to show Kyle something.

''So many nice little surprises and this one is for Kevin's birthday.'' She continued to say whilst smiling as Kyle saw what she was holding. His eyes went wide, it was a pregnancy test and it was positive.

''Holy Crap'' He thought and then it dawned on him. ''Wait … Kevin's birthday isn't for another 3 weeks isn't it?''

A mischievous grin appeared on Lola's face. ''O I know that and now you know that but …'' She played around with the pregnancy test in-between her fingers and she drew out the 'but'.

''We have a few more costumes for our female talent on the way from Jenny, and I would be a terrible employer if I didn't ensure they were fully 'tested' before commencing any filming with them.''

She licked her licks as she empathised the word 'tested' as Kyle looked on raising an eyebrow in confusion.

''Huh?''

''You know I might be able to help you get laid BUT you need to do me a favour.'' Lola asked as she smiled at Kyle.

''I ..'' Kyle began with a stammer.

''Please? Pretty please?'' Lola continued as she fluttered her eyes at Kyle.

''Let me guess, get my mom to back off right?'' He asked.

''Bingo!'' Lola squeeled.

Kyle tapped his clipboard as he thought it over. ''Ok deal but he better be hot.''

Lola laughed. ''You should know, last time I checked you slept with him in high school.''

Kyle's eyes right wide as soon as it hit him. ''Waitaminute!'' He began. ''When did Bluecap move back to South Park?''


	6. Chapter 6

DISCLAIMER: I do not own South Park or any of the characters.

A/N: I'm really sorry for the delay in this. Sadly my beta reader has left this site, I don't know why, I just hope she's doing ok. Without her this series wouldn't have got off the ground. Regardless please enjoy.

...

''I thought you were still in Japan?'' Kyle quizzed his ex-boyfriend.

Bluecap crossed his arms, trying his best to act casual and not pounce on his still attractive ex. ''And I thought you were still in New Jersey, when the heck did you get back to South Park or better yet when did you become a health and safety inspector?''

''About a week ago.'' Kyle began. ''I've been commuting from Denver, still looking for a place live here, there's no way I'm moving back in with my parents.''

Bluecap raised an eyebrow. ''Why? Your mom pissing you off again?''

Kyle let out a rather loud groan in annoyance. ''Ike got himself involved in a rather messy scandal, well rather a series of scandals …. Well rather he was going to a series of orgies.''

''What?'' Bluecap asked wide eyed.

''Orgies hosted by the Canadian royal family, many of which leaked online including a video of the Princess of Canada's sister and cousin going down on him.'' Kyle said in a matter of fact tone.

''… Wow …'' Was all Bluecap could say.

''So he's come here to lay low until the heat dies down in Canada, especially as the tapes revealed the Prince of Canada liked animals. Like, REALLY liked animals.'' Kyle stated before placing his head onto the table, this day had been full of surprises.

He lifted his head up however when he felt Bluecap squeeze his hand, he looked directly at him with a sad look in his eyes.

''I've missed you a lot Kyle, even when I was banging some random Japanese guy I meet in a gay bar I was still thinking of you.'' He said to him, Kyle in turn just raised an eyebrow.

''Dare I ask how many guys you've slept with in an attempt to forget about me?'' He asked Bluecap just as Craig came over with two mugs of steaming hot coffee.

''You don't want to know Kyle, trust me.'' Craig said to the pair as he wink at Bluecap, who blushed in return.

''Um … Hey Craig.'' Bluecap began nervously as Kyle stared death daggers at him. ''How are things going with Tweek?''

''Great.'' Craig said bluntly like he always did. ''In fact we're thinking of adopting a kid.''

Kyle looked at Craig confused. ''I thought you were married to Heidi Turner?''

Craig looked at Kyle confused. ''You didn't know about the divorce? It was all over face book.''

''Sorry.'' Kyle began. ''I deleted my face book after a disastrous college relationship, I mean how the hell was I supposed to know the guy was married?''

''I know the feeling, deleted my old one after the divorce and blocked that bitch and any of her friends who sent me abusive messages. I tell you Cartman deserves a bitch like her, they're both as spiteful as each other.'' Craig before taking a deep breath, he nearly lost his temper.

''Sorry it's just … seriously I have no idea what I was thinking back then, marrying her and attending those protests. I feel so ashamed looking back.''

Kyle then did something he thought he would never do, he got up out of his seat and hugged Craig Tucker who after the initial shock returned the hug.

However the pair soon broke the hug when they heard a certain familiar 'GAH!' and turned to see Tweek coming out of the stock room.

''Ah man, I go into the stock room to check on the fresh coffee beans and you've got some attractive red head hugging you! GAH! TOO MUCH PRESSURE!'' Tweek said as he twitched.

''Tweek chill out dude it's me Kyle!'' He said in an effort to calm down his childhood friend.

Funny enough it worked as Tweek stopped twitching when he finally recognised him.

''Ah hey Kyle, long time no see and say is that Bluecap sitting behind you.'' Tweek asked as Bluecap smiled at him.

''Hey buddy, how's the back treating you?'' He asked and immediately regretted it when Tweek replied with.

''A lot better, still can't believe I pulled it when we had that three way the other week.''

Kyle's jaw dropped as he then proceeded to do a pretty decent impression of his mother, ''What? What? WHAT?'' Whilst Bluecap covered his face in embarrassment.

''I was walking funny for a week.'' Craig mumbled not noting Mrs Tweek had just walked into the coffee shop holding a newspaper tightly.

''Craig?'' She called to him as he spun around, soon followed by Tweek himself.

''Hey mom, are you ok?'' Her son asked as she looked worried.

''I think … I think you and Craig should read this sweetie.'' She said as she nervously passed the newspaper to the pair.

…

''You sure this'll work honey?'' Kevin asked his wife as the pair alongside Jason were setting up the shot for the next scene in the Halo parody.

''Worked for Stan and Wendy didn't it?'' She said smiling. ''Plus we need more gay talent, I so badly want to make my gay Superman movie into a reality.''

''Still can't believe you called it Rod Of Steel.'' Jason replied as he positioned another light onto the make shift space ship set they had set up. It was partly built up against a green screen with the idea being they'll add more high tech looking console panels in post.

''It's a gay Superman porno so sue me plus Bebe co-wrote it.'' Lola stated as she playfully stuck her tongue out at Jason.

''We need to sign on Kyle first before we can start planning any more gay themed parodies, don't forget that sweetie.'' Kevin asked as he moved the camera around.

''Trust me, Kyle admitted he's not been laid in a long time. Once he and Bluecap reconnect we'll nab him just like Stan.'' She said as he smiled at the various film ideas in her head.

''Heck me and Bebe can finally film that Broke back Mountain XXX script we wrote back in college.''

Kevin rolled his eyes towards his wife. ''Let me guess it's like the official one only this time you actually get to see the ass fucking right?''

''Bingo.'' Lola said as she licked her lips at the thought.

Now it was Jason's turn to role his eyes. ''Why do I have this feeling in your script Lex Luthor just throws rainbow kryptonite at Superman, who then proceeds to butt fuck Jimmy Olson?''

Lola looked over at him annoyed. ''Of course not Jason, that wouldn't be romantic, our version is pretty much the same as Man Of Steel only with Clark Kent being gay and Lois Lane being a dude.''

Kevin laughed. ''Gives a whole new meaning to the line, kneel before Zod.''

Lola then clicked her fingers as an idea struck her. ''I know who Stan and Wendy are playing now.''

Jason looked over to Lola as he picked up a pile of tangled up cables ''Still all joking aside Lola, I'm sure what you and Bebe co-wrote will be better then that piece of garbage XXX-Treme Comics released a few years ago.''

''Ugh.'' Kevin grunted as he made a face of pure disgust. ''Don't remind me of that one, I'm still convince their lead actor had some kind of weird STD. I mean how else could you explain all those warts on his balls?''

Lola stopped what she was doing, put her hand to her mouth and let out a muffled ''God dam it Kevin'' and ran to the nearest bathroom.

Soon all Kevin and Jason could hear was the sound of her throwing up, echoing throughout the studio until Kevin broke the silence.

''I really need to book an appointment with the Riley when he and Bebe get back, she's been sick every morning this week.''

Jason merely rolled his eyes at Kevin's comment, wondering how on earth Kevin could miss such an obviously sign.

…

Stan stared at the monitor as he watched the raw footage from his first ever porn scene alongside Tommy Turner the head editor at Stoley Studios.

''Wow I never realised I was … um …. Well …'' He tried to say only to be cut off by Tommy.

''A natural? A natural porn star? A stud? A full on sex machine?'' Tommy said as he counted each comment on his fingers.

''Um … I'm … not sure really how to describe the feeling you get, when you see yourself dressed as Bane fucking your fiancée as she's dressed as Catwoman.'' He finally managed to say.

''Hot?'' Asked Tommy as he opened another can of beer.

Stan nodded and grabbed a beer from the six pack Tommy had brought in to get through the editing planned for the day. Usually Tommy just sat on his own in the editing suite, but he was happy for a chance to talk to someone for a change.

Of course it didn't help that the deadline to get the final edit ready before the film was due to be pressed and printed was fast approaching, so Tommy planned on a all night shift to get it done.

''This is a pretty impressive editing suite.'' Stan commented as he looked around.

''Yeah a lot of this equipment was brought in before the deal with Token Black Productions and the city council fell apart, lord knows what they were thinking.'' Tommy stated as he hit pause on the keyboard.

''That's a fantastic shot of Wendy's ass by the way, we should stick that on the DVD back cover.''

''That reminds me.'' Stan began as he looked over at the shot before nodding in approval. ''I really need to talk to Wendy about some of the lesbian movies she made and also how many.''

''Yeah Sally mentioned that, to us it sounds like she was using that as a rebound type thing to forget about you instead of grabbing some random guy.'' Tommy added as he hit play on the keyboard and soon the room was filled with the sounds of Stan and Wendy groaning and moaning from the screen.

''Yeah, you have no idea how relieved I was when she said lesbian porn to me as well. When she first mention it I had this horrible mental image of a Bonnie Rotten style orgy.'' Stan said taking another gulp from his beer.

''Ugh.'' Tommy let out. 'That chick is nasty, I mean yeah she's hot with all of those tattoos but dam some of the bizarre shit she's done, Jesus Christ dude.'' Tommy then shivered remembering a particular movie with said actress.

''You and Sally watch a lot of porn I take it.'' Stan asked.

''Yeah well Sally and Bebe co-write a lot of stuff together, heck they're currently working on a project loosely based on some of their high school sleepover experiences.'' Tommy added as he typed away on the keyboard.

''Wow really?'' Stan asked amazed as Tommy paused from his work again.

''Yeah in fact I think Sally's talking to Emily and Wendy right now as they want to add a lesbian scene or two. Boy some of the stuff Sally told me about the girls used to get up too, WOW!'' Tommy said with a chuckle as Stan nodded remembering all of the things Wendy had told him about her high school girlie sleepovers.

''But seriously.'' Tommy began. ''We really need to made that Wreck It Ralph parody just to see Kenny shout 'I'm gonna wreck it!' before fucking some random chick in the ass.''

Stan nearly choked on his beer as he started laughing like a maniac as Tommy just let out a giant gut laugh.

…

Wendy and Emily looked over the 1st draft of Bebe and Sally's latest co-written feature, which currently had the working title of 'Naughty Sleepovers'.

Sally Turner sat opposite them nervous as hell occasionally taking the occasional sip of her hot chocolate when she felt nervous especially as Wendy and Emily were taking notes.

''I'm 99% sure that three way in the 2nd sex scene is based on how me and Douglas first had sex.'' Emily stated as she adjusted her reading glasses.

''Don't you mean made love?'' Wendy asked curiously.

''Nah we weren't a couple and plus Tammy was there, hence why I said I recognised the three way.'' Emily commented as she jotted down some notes. ''Granted it was a besides Token's pool and not his hot tub.''

''Well I did have to change the settings slightly but if you're offended me and Bebe can completely re-write it.'' Sally offered with a nervous smile. She was terrified her two friends would of reacted badly to having a adult movie made based on her high school exploits.

''I'm guessing this 4th scene.'' Wendy asked. ''Is based on what I told you, in regards to my planned 'surprise present' for Stan's 18th birthday?''

Emily giggled. ''Is that the same one where you two got back together?''

Wendy smiled. ''Yep but that was over shadowed by that leaked footage of Red and Token all over face book and SPLN. Still I would love to high five the person who leaked that footage.''

Sally nodded. ''Yeah and I'd love to make out with whoever trashed his dad's car, that rich prick tried to bribe me as well you know.''

Wendy frowned remembering the offer Token had made to her back in high school, the same one that nearly killed her chances of rekindling her relationship with Stan.

''The rich fucker got what he deserved in the end.'' She said angrily with pure venom in her voice.

''Any who.'' Emily began slightly nervous. ''This final scene involving the girls four way, just out of curiosity is that based on …'' She asked as she looked over at Wendy.

The pair of them were now blushing as Sally looked on a little nervous.

''Well Tammy mentioned it to me when she crashed round my place once back in high school …'' She replied as Wendy cleared her throat.

''Could we perhaps change it to 2 guys and 2 girls instead?'' She quizzed as she knew it would be an ideal scene for her and Stan alongside Douglas and Emily.

Emily nodded but she also had another idea to add. ''We could always save a lesbian four way for a potential sequel as well like maybe a bi-sexual themed one. Last time I checked Kenny was 'gay for pay' so to speak.''

Sally chuckled ''Sad thing is, I'm pretty sure Kenny would agree to fuck a donkey if Kevin and Lola paid him $400.''

''Hell no I have a limit Mrs Turner.'' Kenny said as he walked into the kitchen holding a newspaper.

Sally turned bright red and tried to word an apology but Kenny simply smiled as he placed the newspaper in front of the trio.

''Relax Sally I know your joking, however if Kevin and Lola did make 'those type' of movies, I'm sure the people in this article would be ideal film talent.'' He said as his index finger repeatedly taped over a certain name.

The girls looked at the main headline and were horrified at what they read.

'LOCAL BIBLE NUT REALLY LOVES ANIMALS!'

Sally Turner blinked as she continued to read the article, she tried to find the words to express what she was seeing but the shock of this revelation was too much for her.

Kenny on the other hand was sniggering. ''I wonder how Craig Tucker is going to feel when he hears his ex-wife got caught sucking off a horse, man I'd love to see his reaction.'' He said as he walked away laughing.

Sally continued to stare at the article about her estrange sister Heidi Turner's arrest until Emily finally spoke up.

''Isn't she or to be more precise, wasn't she dating Cartman after her divorce from Craig?'' She asked as Wendy simply nodded and then smiled a devilish grin.

''Makes you wonder how bad the sex was.'' She added and then proceeded to laugh as loud as she could.


	7. Chapter 7

DISCLAIMER: I do not own South Park or any of the characters.

A/N: Sorry this chapter is shorter than the last lot but I wanted to get one more update in before 2014 is over. As always please enjoy and R&amp;R.

...

''So legally we can't have Kenny say 'I'm gonna wreck it?' despite it being a parody?'' Stan asked in disbelief to Kevin.

''Yeah I know it's crazy but apparently Disney trademarked it, so our lawyer suggested not to just to play it safe.'' Kevin said as he passed the headphones for the boom mic to him.

Today was the first day of shooting for the Wreck It Ralph parody and already they were a man down. Jason had to watch Scotty as he was home sick but thankfully Stan mentioned he had experience behind the camera as well as in front.

''So glad you know how to work most of this stuff.'' Kevin said as he looked over his notes. ''Me and Lola have been meaning to hire more crew for filming, and with Bluecap being transferred to the talent pool we might have to.''

Stan nodded as he adjusted the headphones trying his hardest not to think about the scene they were about to film.

''Not going to lie, it's going to be a little weird watching Kenny bang a chick but work is work.'' He said as Kevin nodded.

''Yeah I know it's weird at first but you get used to it.'' Kevin said as Kenny walked onto the set dressed up as Ralph.

''Ok Kenny, did you manage to watch this movie AND read the script this time?'' Kevin asked him jokingly earning a snigger from Stan.

Kenny playfully rolled his eyes, pretending to be annoyed. ''Honestly I work with such unprofessional people.'' He said with a chuckle adjusting the strap on the costume.

''But in all seriousness, yes I did. This movie is pretty much the same plot wise right? Only all of those Sugar whatever characters are over 18 and Ralph gets lost in a Japanese hentai game first right? Before Felix rushes off to rescue him I mean.'' Kenny said as he stretched his arms out, physically getting himself ready for the shoot.

''Yeah we've got Douglas playing Felix and Emily playing the spare marine chick, they're in wardrobe right this minute.'' Kevin said as he spotted Bluecap walking into the studio.

''Hey gang sorry I'm late, didn't fall asleep until 3am last night.'' He said apologetically as he grabbed his camera.

''Didn't realise how much I actually missed my sexy ginger Jew until last night.'' He said whilst getting Kenny into frame with the biggest and happiest grin on his face.

''You and Kyle have fun last night?'' Stan asked especially as he hadn't manage to see Kyle in the flesh yet, having lost track of time following the recent scandal that had engulfed the town.

''Why do you think I didn't fall asleep until 3am?'' Bluecap said raising his eyebrows up and down, earning him a chuckle from Kenny who clapped his hands.

''Hell yeah the band's back together!'' He exclaimed at the top of his lungs.

''What about Cartman?'' Stan asked as Kevin and Bluecap looked at him confused.

''What about him?'' Kenny answered him back which Stan replied ''Right.'' With a smile and a nod.

Kevin clicked his fingers to get the guys attention as he wanted to double check some things before Lizzy appeared on set.

''Ok Kenny, you been practising your catchphrase right?'' He asked as Kenny then struck a pose.

''I'M GONNA WRECK THAT PUSSY!'' He exclaimed earning him a round of applause from his friends.

…

''Ok Lizzy your all set, bust a nut out there.'' Lola sad with a laugh whilst Lizzy just rolled her eyes.

''Seriously Lola you need to learn better jokes.'' She replied before double checking her outfit. ''Say isn't this the Zatanna outfit from the Batman one we did when Marsh first started?''

''That's the beauty of making a Wreck It Ralph parody.'' Jenny said as she help Emily get her armour on. ''I can make costumes on a smaller budget or just re-use older ones, heck Emily's here is partly a storm trooper one. How does it feel Emily?''

Jenny asked as she took a step back as Emily checked over the costume in the mirror, clearly enjoying what she was seeing.

''Yeah this should do it Jenny.'' She said as she reached around to undo the main strap and the chest plate came off with ease. ''Yeah Douglas should have no problem with this, god knows I love a nice gentle breast massage.''

Jenny smiled. ''Who doesn't? I still laugh to myself remembering my wedding night when Pete saw me naked for the first.''

''Told you he was totally worth waiting for.'' Lola said as she pulled her super best friend in a bear hug.

''Looking back …'' Emily began as she reattached her breast plate armour. ''Senior year was REALLY weird in a lot of ways. I mean it's like what happened with Token's hot rod, they never caught the REAL vandal who did it in the end.''

Lola and Jenny quickly glanced at each other with a guilty look before Lizzy interjected.

''Speaking of people who waited until marriage, did you hear about Heidi 'horse sucker' Turner blaming her ex-husband Craig over what she did?'' She asked as the others looked on confused.

''… Are you fucking serious?'' Lola asked her with a raised eyebrow.

''They've been divorced for over two years, what the hell?'' Jenny asked angrily. Personally she couldn't stand Heidi, she gave Christians like her family a bad name.

''Makes you wonder how bad she is in bed if she turned her own husband gay. I mean how bad was her pussy or cock sucking skills that Craig turned to Tweek?'' Lizzy added with a laugh.

''Craig does look a lot happier with Tweek, heck the two often baby sit for me and Douglas if we're doing a late night film shoot.'' Emily said as she adjusted her helmet in front of the mirror.

''Now if only I could get those two in front of a camera …'' Lola mumbled in a whisper as she licked her lips at the mental image.

''I wonder how Sally's taking it?'' Emily asked, the worry evident in the tone of her voice.

''Despite everything that happened when it came out about her and Tommy, she still called Heidi her sister.''

The dressing room went silent as Jenny simply nodded.

''Yeah I know, Emily just like you said, senior year was one hell of a WEIRD year.'' Jenny said as she glanced down at her wedding ring, remembering a event that was one of the most joyous and most difficult periods in her life.

…

''Really Wendy I'm ok, there's really no need to apologise.'' Sally said shyly as she sipped her tea.

''I know it's just … after you broke down after my joke I was worried. I've just been a bit … insensitive to other people's feelings lately, well no more like the past year.'' Wendy said as she tried to find the right words shaking a little remembering the events from the past year like her break up with Stan,

''I said I love him and then I put him threw hell and to make matters worse I wasn't there when he actually needed me. Instead I was off filming lesbian gangbangs whilst he was burying his father. What kind of person does that!?'' She said wiping away a tear.

''Wendy you didn't know Randy had passed away and besides if Stan forgave you because he loves you. Plus if you didn't still love him then why keep that engagement ring?'' Sally said to her with a smile just as her husband came with some freshly baked gingerbread men.

'Who wants some? Just baked them myself.'' Tommy exclaimed happily as he placed the plate in front of the girls.

Sally raised an eyebrow alongside a 'WTF?' look on her face before giving her husband at death glare.

She took a deep breath and exhaled but asking in a calm manner.

''Tommy … dear sweet husband of mine?''

''Yes my love?'' Tommy asked as he picked up one of the gingerbread men in a napkin and handed it to Wendy, who stared at it in some confusion before realising what the shape was.

''Why did you shape them to look like a horse with an erection?'' Sally asked him, trying her best to not sound angry.

'No reason.'' Tommy said with a giggle as he handed his wife one.

''I've also got a giant one in the oven shaped like a chick giving a horse a blowjob. Planning on mailing that to a certain bitch of a half sister alongside a note with the words, HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! written on it.''

Sally went wide eyed again and let out an annoyed grunt whilst massaging her forehead, Wendy on the other hand was trying her best not to laugh.


	8. Chapter 8

DISCLAIMER: I do not own South Park or any of the characters.

A/N: Longer chapter this time and in this one we get a look at nearly everyone. Chapter 9 is surprisingly nearly done, just a few little bits here and there. For now, please enjoy and R+R please.

...

Chris Donnolly, the cousin of Heidi, Sally and Tommy Turner and current lawyer for Stoley Studios let out a long sigh as he over looked the documents in front of him.

If this new law was passed, it would ruin Stoley Studios and indeed the entire town financially, even worse then when Token Black Productions broke the contract for the expensive refurbished of the public access studios.

The town was only just barely able to avoid a HUGE tax increase if Kevin Stoley and Randy Marsh hadn't made that proposal.

''Chris sweetie?'' Monica Donnolly formerly Ryland called to him, thankfully pulling him out of his train of thought.

''What's up sweetie?'' He said with a smile as she held up the morning edition of the South Park Gazette and then his smile dropped.

''Ah crap … no point calling Kevin now …'' He muttered.

Monica let out an annoyed sigh. ''I take it we'll have to cancel our trip to Denver.'' She asked disappointed.

Chris got up and pulled his wife into a hug. ''Of course not sexy, if you drive then I can double check the small print for Kevin on the way. I'm sure there's a way out of this for him.''

He said as he kissed Monica on the forehead who giggled in return.

…

Yesterday Kevin Stoley was having a good day. YESTERDAY he and his production team managed to get 2 scenes filmed for the Wreck It Ralph parody AND Tommy presented him a final edit for the Batman parody at long last.

Coupled with the fact Sally and Bebe had handed in a script which the pair had been working on, overall yesterday was pretty good.

However …

That was yesterday …

Right now Kevin Stoley was staring at the main headline of the South Park Gazette in total disbelief. He took a long and loud deep breath and then loudly exhaled before screaming ''THAT FAT SON OF A BITCH!'' at the top of his lungs.

Lola shot up in their bed within seconds looking very confused and annoyed at Kevin's outburst.

…

Tommy Turner nearly jumped out of his skin when his phone went off. He was sleeping on the coach following the incident yesterday with the ginger beard men whilst Wendy was around.

To say Tommy wasn't fond of his half-sister Heidi was an understatement especially after what happened in high school and it still boggled him to this day why Sally would still vouch for her.

He quickly grabbed his phone just as Sally rushed in with a newspaper and a plate with a bacon sandwich on it.

Before she could say anything he answered it. ''Hey boss what's up?''

Sally bite her lip when she realised Tommy was talking to Kevin, so she quickly placed the plate down and held up the newspaper in front of Tommy who didn't notice at first.

''No I've not read it this morning, why?'' He asked as Kevin could be loudly heard on the other end.

''Seriously?'' He asked just as he noticed Sally wa holding the paper up to him.

''Never mind. Sally's just showed it to me.'' He said looking at the main headline confused.

''That's messed up …'' He mumbled to himself, his wife looking on worried.

''Huh? … What? Seriously? Ok … I'll ask her but I think she's still annoyed with me.'' He said nervously as he looked up at his wife slightly worried.

''Um … Kevin asked … if you'd be willingly to write a certain script ASAP for him?''

Sally raised an eyebrow in confusion.

''Let me guess, this is the main plot?'' She asked pointing at main headline on the South Park Gazette.

Reluctantly Tommy went back to his phone. ''Did you hear that Kev?''

The room fell silent as Tommy listened to Kevin's answer, soon Tommy asked his wife another question.

''He said we won't use Heidi's real name but he wants a character in it to be based on her, maybe played by Wendy.'' Tommy said as he reached up and took hold of his wife's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze adding.

Sally took a deep breath and mulled over the idea but she knew there was only going to be one way she'd agree to write that particular movie.

''Tell Kevin I'll have a 1st draft by tonight BUT only if he agrees to one condition.''

…

Kelly Rutherford-Menskin smiled as she watched the sleeping form of her room mat-SORRY boyfriend as she cuddled up to him.

Watching Jason's hairy chest as it lifted up and down almost hypnotic she thought to herself, it relaxed her to see him so relaxed just like when she used to watch … Francis … when he would sleep … when they were married … before … the cancer …

She took a deep breath and as gently and quietly as she could she got up and reached for her dresser draw and searched for her wedding ring.

Within seconds she found it and pressed it lightly against her lips.

''I'll always love you Francis and our son will never forget you but … I need to move on …'' She whispered too herself.

Suddenly Jason's mobile rang and Kelly 'yelped' in surprise causing her to nearly drop her ring. Jason shot up wide awake with a panic look on his face.

''Kelly? What's wrong?'' He asked concerned before realising it was his mobile.

''O …'' He said slightly embarrassed as Kelly giggled at him. ''He looks so cute when he blushes.'' She thought as he answered the call.

''Hey Kev what's u-'' He began only to go silent, Kelly herself could her Kevin's loud angry voice on the other end.

Jason's face turned to pure confusion. ''What the hell is measure F? … They want us to … wait who has to wear condoms? … ALL OF US!? Well who's pushing this? … O …. O … THAT FAT FUCK!''

Kelly rolled her eyes as she knew who Jason meant.

''Thank you Eric Cartman for ruining my chances of morning sex.'' She mumbled as Jason continued to rant alongside Kevin on the phone.

…

''Son of a bitch …'' Wendy muttered in anger as she threw the morning newspaper onto the bedroom floor. After the talk round Sally's place Wendy had gone round to spent the evening with Stan and ended up staying the night.

''Babe?'' Stan whispered in a low tone as he sleepily wrapped his arms around her in concern noticing the anger in her eyes.

Wendy took a deep breath before pulling Stan into a deep and passionate kiss. After a solid 2 minutes she broke it looking intensely into Stan's eyes.

''I'm not letting him ruin us Stan! You love your job right?'' She asked him as Stan looked on confused.

''Well yeah babe, who in there right mind wouldn't?'' He said with a chuckle and a smile.

''Good.'' Wendy said sternly. ''Because I'm not letting that fat fuck ruin the best jobs we've ever had.''

She said as Stan looked even more confused until it hit him.

''Cartman.'' He said under his breath as Wendy squeezed his hand tightly.

…

Tommy Edwards wobbly climbed out of bed, to say he had a good night was an understatement.

''Ah crap …'' He mumbled when he noticed his bed was empty.

''Where did she go?'' He asked himself the second he saw his dates clothes were missing.

He quickly ran to the sitting room of his apartment and noticed some of the DVDs of the movies he had made shattered all over the floor.

''Shit.'' He said to himself as he reached down to pick them up.

As he looked at the various covers from parodies such as 'Scooby Doo XXX' for Stoley Studios or generic trash like 'Back Door Sluts 29' or 'Dude your fucking my mom' when he lived in LA, Tommy couldn't help but think about his life choices, in particular what happened when he was 22, when his life completely changed for him.

He and his long term girlfriend at the time Marla Watkins had moved out to LA to make a name for themselves after she had dropped out of college and convince him to do the same.

However they barely had $400 on them and they were soon maxed out on their credit card so in desperation (and because he had a pretty decent body) Tommy reluctantly became a stripper.

It surprisingly paid well and it wasn't long that Marla herself found some work as a nude model. Then one night whilst searching for work the pair found a open casting call for a porn movie.

Once again Marla convince him and the pair within days were getting offers of work from various companies.

They perform together and against Tommy's wishes even performed with other people as Marla kept insisting they needed the money.

Eventually Marla's career sky rocketed which didn't help the pair's fragile relationship and within 8 months of moving to LA to 'make it big' Tommy ended up moving back in South Park.

Whilst he was flipping burgers at McDonalds, Marla was in LA filming a gang bang with 5 different guys in a movie titled 'The Rainbow Fuck Fest!'

His luck did sort of change when Stoley Studios was first announced, Kenny had told him about Randy Marsh holding a open casting call and given his previous experience Tommy had no problem landing semi-regular work.

Compared to some of the companies he had work for in LA, Stoley Studios was a paradise in comparison and that was more then likely due to it be a much smaller independent unit.

He felt happier, he felt appreciated, he was learning new skills like how to operate cameras but … but he just couldn't seem to get a steady girlfriend once they discovered his 'resume' so to speak.

But as Tommy looked over the DVD covers of the movies he had performed in, he couldn't help but think how his adult film career had been a double edge sword to him.

He sighed as he closed his eyes, a tear running down his cheek ''It pays the rent …'' He repeated to himself over and over again.

…

Lizzy munched her on bacon sandwich as she looked over the morning newspaper.

''UGH! That fucking pig gay wad fucker!'' She snapped as she threw the paper onto the kitchen floor.

She was hoping this mess would be sorted soon as she didn't really want to go back to being a plain old stripper again.

At least with Stoley Studios she could get the chance to act and be creative. Ok her acting was wooden at best, but she had the huge tits of a porn star, that was more then enough right?

''Right?'' She asked herself in a whisper looking down at her breakfast.

…

''More coffee Tweek?'' Emily asked as she finished stirring a fresh pot.

''Ah yes please Emily.'' Tweek replied with a smile and slight twitch as Douglas finished cooking up the last of the bacon.

''I really do appreciate you guys helping us out like this.'' Said Craig as he looked up from the morning newspaper.

''Dude it's ok, you've been a big help to me and Emily in regards to-'' Douglas began but was then cut off by the sound of a baby crying.

''I'll get him, the little guy loves pulling on my hair.'' Tweek said with a smile and was upstairs like a shot. Craig smiled at his boyfriends statement as it gave him hope it was helping Tweek re-consider his idea of adopting a baby.

Emily then snapped Craig back from his thoughts when she walked over and gave him a gentle hug.

''As Douglas was saying, we really appreciate the babysitting help you and Tweek have offered us. If it weren't for you two, I doubt we could still carry on working for Kevin if it weren't for you two.'' She said as Douglas started serving up the bacon.

''Plus hiring a sitter is a giant pain in the ass thanks to fat ass and mega bitch's smear campaign.'' Douglas snarled as he bit into his bacon sandwich.

Following the recent scandal of Heidi Turner's 'volunteer work' on the local farm, the news media had descended onto South Park like a pack of vultures.

Terrified of what the stress could do to his boyfriend's health, Craig's original plan was to ask Butter's to borrow his Hawaii beach house, however Emily had heard and instead offered a closer and FREE hiding spot until it all died down.

Thanks to the swarms of reporters, Tweeks Bros was temporary closed, Mr and Mrs. Tweek alongside the Tuckers were more then happy to take up Jimbo's offer of crashing round his large place for a few days.

The whole experience helped to remind Craig that despite his past actions when he was married to Heidi Turner, he still had good friends he could count on.

…

''Does Kevin REALLY want these?'' Pete said as he loaded the various costumes into his car.

Jenny simply shrugged. ''Lola was insistent and sounded a bit annoyed mind you. Not like her, she's usually so cheerful in the mornings.''

Pete chuckled as a thought hit him. ''Maybe she's pregnant at last and is just not used to morning sickness.'' He said to his wife who rolled her eyes annoyed.

''You know she's pregnant and she's saving it as a surprise for Kevin's birthday next week!'' She snapped at him whilst crossing her arms.

''Just remember not to open your big mouth in front of Kevin about it!''

Pete frowned at his wife, he hated it when she talked to him like a spoilt kid.

''Hey what's wrong with you lately? You've not been this grouchy since your pregnant with Penny.'' Pete said with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

Jenny was about to reply but then she stopped herself before a single word could escape her lips and her eyes went wide.

Pete stared at his wife confused and then it hit him. ''Your … late aren't you?'' he asked concerned as Jenny nodded before putting on her sweetest smile and wrapping her arms around Pete's neck and pulling him into a kiss.

''I'm sorry I snapped sweetie but …'' She began before planting another quick kiss. ''But could you drop me off at the pharmacy on your way to the studio please?''

…

Kenny was laying on his couch in his boxers with a blanket over him. Today was his day off and he was planning on enjoying by being as lazy as possible.

''So glad I don't need to leave the apartment.'' He said as he clicked threw the various news channels, all of them seemed to be covering the Heidi Turner horse scandal.

Kenny chuckled to himself. ''I wonder how long this has been going on for?'' he thought to himself as he wondered if this was one of the reasons Craig divorced her.

Kenny then let out a loud yawn just as his mobile phone started to ring. He grabbed it expecting it to be Kevin in regards to Cartman's little newspaper rant and that stupid ass law he was vowing to pass.

Apparently according to him it was Stoley Studios fault Heidi did what she did, and in his sick twisted head this was his idea of revenge.

However Kenny's eyes went wide when he saw who the name on his phone.

''Shit.'' He muttered as answered it.

''Hey sexy, yeah sorry things have been hectic at work …. Look … I …. I don't know if we should continue this … Stan is one of my oldest and dearest friends and if he found out ….'' He said as a female voice could be heard from the phone.

Kenny sighed to himself as he listened, that feeling of self loathing slowing creeping in.

''Ok if your 100% sure he's not coming home that night then yeah … I'll fuck you in his bed …'' Kenny said as he felt like vomiting.

''But this has to got to end, this role play stuff is creeping me out a little … Yeah, I know I said you gave amazing head but … Ok … ok if you promise no more sex role play after tonight …. Yeah and just make sure Stan's not there ok. Last thing I want is for him to have another depression relapse because he caught us fucking like rabbits ON HIS BED! You saw how bad he was before he came to work for Kevin. Ok ... Ok see you tonight.'' He said as he hung up and then held his head in his hands whispering.

''Stan … forgive me old buddy …''

…

''You sure about this babe?'' Stan asked as he looked at the tickets in his hand. ''I mean it seems short notice.''

''They were offering them discounted hence why I brought them plus I know how much you love wrestling Stan.'' Wendy said whilst giving her kindest and biggest smile but still rubbing her arm in an uneasy way as if she looked nervous about something.

''Granted I know it's short noticed, I mean the match is tonight but …'' Wendy said only for Stan to pull her into a hug.

''But I have a super awesome girlfriend who spoils me rotten.'' Stan said as he pulled Wendy into a very loving and passionate kiss thinking how much he had missed having Wendy in his life.


	9. Chapter 9

DISCLAIMER: I do not own South Park or any of the characters.

A/N: Here it is gang, chapter 9 and boy is it a long one. R+R please and enjoy.

_..._

_Two Days Later __…_

Stan high five Kyle his super best friend for the first time in what that felt like years.

''Dude you have no idea how super fucking awesome it is to see you again!'' Stan exclaimed as he pulled Kyle into a tight bro hug.

''Ah man it feels like forever and I don't know what's more shocking, you and Wendy back together or the fact your both porn film stars now.'' Kyle said as he took note of the rather smart suit Stan was wearing.

''Correction.'' Stan said pointing his finger into the air. ''Adult film star, Kevin really hates us being labelled as simply 'porn stars'.''

''Why?'' Kyle asked as he raised an eyebrow in confusion with Stan simply shrugging his shoulders in confusion.

''No idea, maybe because it just sounds better, no offence but I wouldn't be surprised if it had something to do with your mom.'' He stated as Kyle rolled his eyes.

''Don't get me started on her …'' He mumbled as Wendy came running up to the pair. She instantly grabbed Kyle and pulled him into a tight hug.

''O Kyle it's so good to see you hon.'' She said as she planted a quick kiss on his cheek. ''Please tell me it's true about your new job.''

Kyle nodded slightly uneasy due to the embarrassment. ''Yeah I signed the contract today, your officially looking at Stoley Studios newest gay adult film star.''

Stan bite his lip feeling nervous. ''Not going to lie dude, it's going to be weird being boom mic operator for when you start filming stuff.''

''Join the club.'' Kyle replied with a light hearted laugh, but then as he watched Stan wrap his arm around Wendy's waist, it suddenly dawned on him.

''Hey Wendy how come your wearing a wig that matches Heidi Turner's hair colour? Also Stan, why have you got what looks like a pillow stuffed under your shirt?'' Kyle asked looking at their costumes until it hit him.

''O sweet lord no …'' He said weakly as the colour drained from his face at the mental image.

''Well you see … KAHL.'' Stan said in his best Cartman impression as Kyle looked on horrified.

''No … Just ... Fuck NO!''

_30 Minutes Later __…_

''And so you see Mitch Connors, once we get 'Measure Fuck You' passed by the mayor, the adult companies will be forced to use condoms not only for their talent but also all members of the production team and for all pieces of their equipment too.'' Wendy said doing her best Heidi Turner impression.

Stan on the other hand was munching on a candy bar whilst sitting at a desk which already had a pile of wrappers on it. He then opened a 1 litre bottle of Pepsi and took a long swig from it before stopping to burp loudly.

''Yes that will teach those ass holes for not letting me star in one of their movies.'' He said doing his best Cartman impression.

''What?'' Wendy asked confused.

''I mean uh … that'll teach them for making such filth in our sweet little God fearing red neck town Ms. Rucksack.'' Stan said wiping the chocolate away using the back of his hand.

''Yes and by using 'Measure Fuck You' the studio will have no choice but to close down due to high cost of having to buy so many condoms daily. Granted with it's closure it means the towns taxes will sky rocket, no doubt leading to many people becoming homeless or losing their jobs BUT that is a small price to pay when doing the lord's work.'' Wendy said as she sat on Stan's desk in a seductive pose.

Kyle was standing at the very back of the studio alongside Lola and Jenny, all three of them were looking on worried and confused.

''Please tell me they're not going to …'' Kyle began as he looked on terrified.

''I know Kevin's pissed over what Cartman's claim and that law he's trying to pass but isn't this a bit extreme?'' Jenny said in a low whisper to a very confused Lola.

''It gets worse after this scene …'' Lola mumbled.

Jenny's eyes went wide in shock. ''O god … the horse costume he requested …''

''Stan's going to be the half with the dick hole.'' Lola mumbled not breaking eye contact from the scene being filmed before them.

''Bit of an extreme 'screw you fat boy?' isn't it?'' Kyle asked as he felt his stomach turn.

''Perhaps Ms. Rucksack you and I should … celebrate?'' Stan said in his Cartman impression raising his eyebrows up and down.

''Hmmm …'' Wendy said tapping her chin. ''Why not? My volunteer work at the farm can wait until tomorrow I guess.'' She said as she removed her office jacket and then started to unbutton her shirt.

Stan got up from out of his rubbing his hands, trying to look sleazy as possible.

''Yeah baby show me those frosted pot pies.'' As he licked his lips as sloppy as possible whilst pulling down his zipper.

Jason as boom mic operator looked over at Kevin, who was watching the scene intensely, a small hint of anger still in his eyes.

He could understand why Kevin was so upset and angry with Cartman, heck even Jason got pissed off when he read it, however he just wished Kevin hadn't destroyed his happy place in the process.

''Ah yeah suck my fireman hoe! Tell me how much you love it tasting like cheesy puffs.'' Stan said as Kyle then clamped his hand around his mouth and ran as fast as he could to the bathroom.

_1 Hour Later __…_

Stan and Wendy were in the studio showers together both looking at each other uneasily.

''Starting to wish we hadn't agreed to film that for free.'' Stan said as he poured some shampoo into Wendy's hair and started to massage her scalp.

''I know what you mean.'' She said with her eyes closed. ''I feel more dirty now then I did after that 30 women lesbian gang bang I took part in.''

Stan's eyes went wide in response. ''30 … 30 women lesbian gang bang you say?''

Wendy bite her lip at the uneasy tone in Stan's voice when he said that but what he said next really caught her off guard.

''You … you still got a copy of that babe?'' He asked as he moved his hand down her backside towards her ass to give it a light squeeze.

Wendy let out a low moan at Stan's touch and then let out a even louder moan when she felt an all too familiar body part brushing up against her ass crack.

''Tell me more about this sleepover movie Sally mentioned to you and Emily the other day.'' Stan said in a whisper as he leaned forward to plant a kiss on Wendy's cheek.

Wendy then tilted her head so she could then pull Stan into a very passionate kiss whilst grinding her ass against his erection.

She then broke the kiss to quickly say ''Fuck my ass first babe.''

Stan smiled a devilish grin as he continued to passionate kiss his beloved Wendy.

_2 Hours Later __…_

''Enjoy your shower?'' Kenny asked in a joking tone to Stan as he held up the boom mic for the next screen.

''Were we that loud?'' Stan asked with no hint of embarrassment. In fact he felt proud that he had managed to make love to his fiancée twice within the span of roughly 1 hour and still have the energy to continue working.

Kenny laughed playfully. ''You were born to do this job man and speaking of guys literally born for this line of work.'' He said as Douglas came walking onto the set dressed as WW2 era Captain America followed by Henrietta.

''Hey Raven long time no see, got to see a preview of your first scene by the way. Nice ass.'' She said to Stan jokingly just as Kevin came up to them holding a script.

''Ok guys great work on scene 1 and now here's what I want you to do for scene 2.'' Kevin said as everyone took notice.

_20 minutes later __…_

''Where on earth is my co-star? This is highly unprofessional.'' Douglas said as he stomped up and down the set.

''I hate to say it.'' Kenny said as he sat in Kevin's directors chair and pulling off the medical mask off his face.

''But I fear we have lost another fine and talented adult star to the false propaganda and fear generated by that new law those God nuts have passed.'' He said in a matter of fact tone trying to sound as authority as possible.

''Do you mean 'Measure Fuck You'?'' Stan asked as he lowered the boom mic removing his own medical mask. Thankfully it wasn't the actually boom mic recording the sound for the scene, Jason was holding that one at the other end of the set alongside Kevin who was operating the camera this time.

''This is insane.'' Henrietta said as she looked from behind her camera, scratching at the blue medical gloves she had to wear. She was another member of their talent pool but didn't work in as many movies as the others. To her this was more a hobby and a sexual thrill for her and her husband when they were feeling bored.

''How are we meant to be able to make a living if the news relating to this new law is generating so much fear and confusion?'' She asked as Kenny shrugged.

''I don't know but I fear this is the end of our way of life, if something isn't done we will have no choice but to close down the studio and seek new employment.''

''But won't the taxes sky rocket like before? This studio help to bring those down for the towns people when we started to make profit.'' Henrietta asked as the others looked depressed.

''Yes it's interesting how the people pushing this new law didn't take that fact into consideration.'' Kenny said just as the back doors suddenly burst open and three police officers wearing condoms instead of police badges stormed.

''FREEZE!'' Emily shouted pointing a baton with a condom wrapped around the end towards Douglas.

''This is a bust! Under 'Measure Fuck You' we are here to insure you are all obeying the new law.'' Tammy said jabbing Kenny in the chest with her own baton.

''But wait we can prove we are following the guidelines imposed upon us by 'Measure Fuck You'.'' Kenny said as he jumped out of his chair to unzip his pants and pulled out his condom covered penis.

''See despite not performing in this scene I am obeying the law by wearing a condom alongside my medical mask and gloves.'' He stated as Stan then walked up to the officers.

''Yes and in accordance with the new law, even my boom mic has a condom on it.'' He said as he lowered it down to them.

''Ah yes good.'' Gregory said as he adjusted his sun glasses. ''It is clear you have been reading the small fine print which I must disagree with as I find it rather pointless and wasteful. Surely the condoms you are wearing should be saved for your performers or given away for free at local community colleges to help prevent the spread of STDs?''

''Yes we here at the adult studio have argued this but the bible nuts refuse to see reason.'' Kenny said as Gregory began to tick off several points on his list.

''It says here I must see the STD tests from all of your performers currently employed here. Can one of you please take me so I can examine them?'' Gregory asked as Kenny nodded.

''Yes that is understandable. We here are very serious about preventing the risk of our talent becoming infected with a life threatening STD, which is way we hold weekly tests to ensure their safety.'' He said as he turned to Henrietta.

''Please show this officer to the records room and take your time, if needs be I will operate the camera.'' Kenny said as Henrietta nodded and escort her husband off the set.

They both walked pass Kevin and Jason and gave them a thumbs up, Kevin smiled and returned the gesture as he mouthed 'call me later ok?'.

''It's a shame really.'' Douglas began. ''Despite obeying this law we have ended up wasting so much money as the actress we hired has not showed up, no doubt due to the confusion and fear this new law has generated.''

''That is indeed a shame, how much were you paying her?'' Emily asked as she removed her sun glasses.

''$300.'' Kenny stated as both Tammy and Emily went wide eyed.

''Wow $300!? I only make roughly $6 an hour.'' Tammy said in shocked whilst Emily sat down next to her husband and stroked his leg.

''If you offered me $300 I would not say no to having his highly talent adult film star fuck me.'' Emily said as she licked her lips, Douglas raising his eyebrows under his mask in return.

''Are you sure?'' Kenny asked shocked.

''Yes, after all I am a consenting adult who can make her own life choices and if I choose to be paid $300 to have someone fuck me whilst being filmed then that is MY CHOICE!'' Emily stated as she then flung her hat off allowing her hair to flow free.

''Nice.'' Douglas as he pulled his wife into a very passionate French kiss whilst Tammy looked on stunned. Kenny took noticed and asked her.

''If your interested I can pay you $300 as well.'' He stated as Tammy thought it over just as Emily started to unzip Douglas's pants to fish out her husbands exceptional large penis.

Like Kenny said earlier, Douglas was born to star in porn with a cock like that.

Tammy licked her lips at the sight of Emily stroking Douglas before turning to Kenny.

''On one condition, if I perform vaginal sex then I must insist your actor wears a condom, after all as talent should that not be my right to make such a request?'' Tammy asked as Kenny nodded.

''Yes I have no problem with that, at the end of the day it should be the talent themselves who should decide if they wish to wear a condom instead of being forced to by the government.'' Kenny stated with a nod.

''Yeah and screw us members of the production crew having to wear these stupid masks, gloves and a fucking condom.'' Stan said angrily as he flung the items onto the floor.

Tammy smiled as she pulled out a condom from her pocket and rushed over Douglas and Emily who was literally inches from giving her husband a blowjob.

''Hang on partner, don't forget the law.'' Tammy said as she ripped open the condom. ''We can make sure it tastes a bit better with this banana flavoured condom at least.'' She said as slid it down Douglas's erection earning the pair a low pleasurable moan from him.

''Yum, I love bananas.'' Emily said as the studio was soon filled with the sound of sucking, slurping and Douglas groaning in pleasure.

_15 Minutes later __…_

''Feeling better Kyle?'' Wendy said with a worried look. To say she felt a 'little' ashamed for filming 'that' scene was an understatement.

Weakly Kyle nodded. ''Yeah … just lost my lunch after seeing and hearing you guys film … well … THAT!'' He said as he leaned against the hallway wall.

''I'm really sorry Kyle if seeing that upset you. Kevin is so super pissed off over this law Cartman is trying to pass in revenge for what happened with Heidi. Hell I never imagine Kevin could get so angry.'' Wendy said not forgetting what he and Lola did to Token's car in high school but she thought best not to bring that up.

''THAT'S IT PARTNER RIDE CAPTAIN AMERICA'S HUGE COCK!'' Tammy Nelson shouted at the top of her lungs causing the pair to go wide eyed.

''Jesus why on Earth doesn't Kevin get that thing sound proofed?'' Kyle asked annoyed as Wendy simply shrugged her shoulders with a nervous smile.

''HMMMM IT'S SO BIG AND FEELS SO GGGGGOOOOD! FUCK ME HARDER CAPTAIN!'' Emily Anderson then shouted as Kyle and Wendy could just barely hear Douglas saying ''O shit baby yeah, move those hips. Move them faster! Call me Captain America! CALL ME CAP!''

''Captain America fucks you with his mighty cock!'' Tammy then started to sing as Kyle rolled his eyes at Wendy giggling.

''O grow up Testaburger.'' He joked at her, earning him a friendly punch in the arm.

_The Next Day __…_

Stan was once again dressed up as 'Mitch Connors' and sat at a desk typing away onto the keyboard.

''GAH! With my hoe doing her volunteer work at the farm, I need to jerk off to some filthy porn-I MEAN to some 'Measure Fuck You' approved condom porn … yeah better say that just in case this room is bugged.'' He said once again doing his best Cartman impression.

As Stan typed away his face began to turn from curious to rage filled within the space of a few minutes.

''GOD DAM MIT!'' He shouted at the top of his lungs, his years of friendship with Cartman finally paying off.

''IT'S ALL SHIT! WHERE ARE THE CUM SHOTS! WHERE ARE THE SCENES WHEN THE CHICK BLASTS THE GUY IN THE FACE WITH HER PUSSY JUICE!? WHERE'S THE SCENES WHEN THE CUM IS DRIPPING OFF THE SLUTS PUSSY OR CHIN!? GOD FUCKING DAM MIT CONDOM PORN SUCKS! GAH! THAT HOE MS. RUCKSACK ISN'T WORTH THIS! JESUS CHRIST!'' He screamed at the top of his lungs as he then proceeded to smash the PC with a baseball bat.

Once it was nothing more but a pile of busted plastic he dropped the baseball bat and kicked the mess a few times.

''How on earth can my day get any worse?'' Stan asked and then Kevin shouted cut.

''Ok great job Stan, I just need you to keep that outfit on for the bit involving Kyle and Bluecap and then we'll film the scene when Ms. Rucksack gets arrested.'' Kevin stated as Stan raised a confused eyebrow.

''Wait … what am I wearing for the arrest scene?'' He asked as Kevin sniggered.

''You'll see dude, you'll see.'' Kevin said as he started to laugh like a corny comic book villain as everyone looked on confused.

_2 hours later … _

''You did remember to change our bed sheets right?'' Kevin asked his wife in a low whisper as he was setting up the camera.

''O yeah, just remind me to open the windows once we've done filming.'' Lola asked as she removed all of the family photos from besides their bed.

They wanted this scene to look as 'normal' as possible so the pair had temporary moved filming to their own home.

''Wow your house is amazing, I just love your retro video game room dude.'' Kyle said as he walked in wearing only a pair of white briefs with a towel over his shoulder.

''Thanks, you wouldn't believe how long it took me to get most of that AND working properly.''

Lola giggled ''Believe it or not that's my room.'' She said just as Bluecap walked in naked alongside Jason who was carrying the boom mic.

''Well …'' Jason began as he watched Bluecap jump onto the bed. ''You only live once I guess …'' He said under his breath.

Bluecap relaxed himself a big more by stretching himself as Kyle took the sight of his naked boyfriend in all of his glory.

''This is it.'' He thought. ''Thank God I'm filming this with my boyfriend … I wonder if Stan was nervous when he first started doing this?''

Kevin then clicked his fingers to get everyone's attention.

''Ok so here's the scene, you two are a horny same sex couple who like to record themselves on camera for private purposes. However Kyle your childhood enemy 'Mitch Connors' finds out and storms in just as Bluecap blows his load all over your face.'' Kevin said alongside quotation fingers for when he said 'Mitch Connors'.

''Right''. Bluecap said as he then spat into his hand to get himself 'ready'.

''And he'll state that under 'Measure Fuck You' because you two were filming yourselves it's still classed as making pornographic material and then Emily and Tammy will come in to handcuff you and take you away for not using condoms.'' Kevin said as Kyle readjusted his underwear.

''Is that really in the small print?'' Kyle asked confused.

''Yep sure is.'' Lola mumbled alongside a sigh.

''Ok everyone got that? Yes? Good! AAAAAAnd ACTION!'' Kevin shouted as the cameras started rolling.

''Hey hot stuff ready to have some fun?'' Bluecap asked as he pulled Kyle towards him via the top of his briefs and then began to gentle squeeze his hardening bulge.

''I'm … not sure … what if we get caught breaking 'Measure Fuck You'?'' Kyle asked nervously as Bluecap laughed.

''It's just for our own personal use, we're not planning on selling it so we should be ok. Don't worry you sexy red head.'' He said as he pulled Kyle into a very passionate kiss.

_30 minutes Later … _

Stan still dressed as 'Mitch Connors' sat in Kevin and Lola's front room having just finished another beer, expecting Kyle and Bluecap to have wrapped up by now.

However judging by the sounds of the repeatedly moving bed springs, it was clear that wasn't the case.

''I'm 99% sure it doesn't take me and Wendy this long.'' He said as he opened another beer from his six pack.

If he was going to walk in just as Bluecap shot his load all over his super best friends face, there was no way he was going to do that sober.

''Unlike what happened in high school I'm going to be drunk shitless this time.'' He muttered as he slurped his beer loudly dreading this and the next scene he was filming with Wendy.

Kevin had mentioned something about a 'different' costume.

_The Final Day of Filming …_

''So the final scene got delayed because Kyle and Bluecap were having too much fun yesterday?'' Sally said with a giggle as Lola signed.

The pair were sitting in the studio's break room, drinking coffee (or in Lola's case juice) and gossiping over the events of this rather 'unusual' shoot … or as Kevin called it 'Operation: Screw You Fat Boy!' and yes Kyle did help with the name.

''Yeah it was nice having someone leave my bedroom smelling like a cum dumpster …'' Lola mumbled as she sipped her juice with a half smile.

Looking concerned Sally leaned over and gave Lola's hand a quick squeeze.

''Hey …'' She began slightly worried. ''Do you need to talk about something?''

Lola let out another sigh before replying.

''It's funny, I've seen Kevin angry before but this new law REALLY pissed him off you know?'' She began. ''Heck our relationship started because of how pissed off we got at a two certain people at a certain party during high school.''

Sally looked at her coffee before biting her lip.

''Did Kevin tell you what my one condition was in exchange for writing the script so quickly?''

Now it was Lola's turn to reassure her friend as she pulled her into a quick buddy hug.

''Hey I laughed when he told me, I guess deep down you wanted the tiniest bit of revenge against Heidi right?''

Sally smiled. ''Yeah but could you blame me after what she did to me in high school? I mean yeah I was grateful when her mother adopted after my parents died in 4th grade but … after … after what she did during senior year.''

Sally took a deep breath as the painful memories came flooding back just as her husband came in.

''And it's a wrap!'' Tommy Turner proclaimed. ''Also Lola, Stan Marsh is demanding you burn the horse suit immediately.''

Sally giggled as she pushed back the memories, determined to focus on the here and now.

''Yeah tell him it was my bad.'' She said as Tommy pulled up a chair next to her.

''Said the woman who made me sleep on the couch after a certain gingerbread man incident?'' He said before planting a quick kiss on his wife's cheek.

''Am I forgiven yet?'' He asked with a cheeky smile as Lola shook her head at the pair. She was about to leave when Tommy asked her something.

''Hey Lola, quick question?''

''Shot.'' She said turning back to the pair.

''Who's idea was it to release this movie online for free?'' Tommy asked confused as Lola reached into her pocket pulling out the positive pregnancy test and waving it in front of them.

''Let's just say I easily convinced him after he ended up in a much better and happier mood that morning.''


	10. Chapter 10

DISCLAIMER: I do not own South Park or any of the characters.

A/N: Yeah sorry for the LONG delay in updates. I'm hoping to get some more stuff up soon but for now, here's something that's been sitting on my PC for AGES. It's a short little piece just to let people know I've not forgotten about them.

...

''It's so good to hear from you Bebe.'' Wendy said to her life long super best friend down over her Iphone as she laid on the motel bed naked as Stan was giving her a gentle body massage.

''Same here Wendy, me and the family just got back about 5 hours ago, the kids fell asleep a few minutes and my husband is pretty much crashed on the couch.'' Bebe said as the sound of light snoring could be heard over the call.

''The flight back from Hawaii really exhausted Riley.'' She added just as Wendy let out a low moan as Stan's hand began to squeeze her butt.

''Stan not there whilst I'm on the phone.'' She whispered only for Stan to reply. ''Aw but it's kinkier this way.'' With a mock whimper.

Bebe's giggle could be heard over the phone. ''How was the wrestling?'' She asked as Wendy playfully slapped Stan's hand with a smile.

''Not bad but we missed the last bus back to South Park so we're crashing in a motel for the night.'' Wendy said as Stan poured some more baby oil onto Wendy's back.

''My girlfriend spoils me.'' Stan added smiling before gently rubbing the oil into Wendy's skin.

Granted she hadn't told Stan that his mother had paid for the tickets as she seemed determined to get him out of the house for the night.

In fact this was the second time she had done this, making her wonder if Sharon was having man over or something.

''Thank God we've got the day off work tomorrow, this week has been crazy.'' He said as his hand rubbed some of the oil into Wendy's shoulders, snapping her out of her thoughts.

''As much as I love being paid to be filmed fucking my boyfriend, I still think Kevin went a little overboard. Starting to wish we hadn't made the newest movie for free.'' She quickly said as Stan's eyes went wide in shock.

''A little? Babe he had us dress up like Cartman and Heidi Turner and then fuck on a office table whilst insisting I call your boobs 'frosted pot pies' as I impersonated him.'' He added as a look of mild disgust crept over his face.

''Wow …'' Bebe began, the uncertainty evident in her voice. ''I … heard from Lola and Jenny that Kevin … went … well crazy after the article was published.''

Stan rolled his eyes at the comment. ''Did they mention the part about the horse costume I had to wear with the dick hole?''

An awkward silence filled the motel room until Wendy broke it.

''So yeah Bebe, Kyle's a gay adult star now.'' She added as Bebe gasped in surprise.

''REALLY!?'' Who's pounding that hot red head ass of his?'' She shouted excitedly.

''Well here's a hint, him and Bluecap are back together. It's like high school all over again.'' Wendy added as Bebe squalled in delight.

''O MY GOD! That means me and Lola can finally make Broke back Mountain XXX with real gay cowboys or the Torchwood parody with the pair as Jack and Ianto.'' She added as the sound of her rushing around looking for her note pad could be heard.

''Actually I did pitch a Doctor Who porn idea once with Douglas and Emily as Tenth and Rose, maybe I can combine the two? I wonder if Lola would come out of retirement to play River Song with Kevin as Eleventh? But who could you and Stan play? Eighth and Benny?''

Wendy giggled at the sounds of her friend getting excited at the idea of getting paid to write something where Kyle gets a hard butt fucking whilst Stan on the other hand let out a loud sigh of annoyance.

''Well I'm just glad I got shit faced for the scene where I storm in to arrest the pair just as Bluecap starts licking his own cum out of Kyle's ass.'' He added as once again an awkward silence filled the motel room.

''Fuck!'' Bebe proclaimed over the phone so loud that her husband could be heard waking up. ''That's hot!''

Over the phone the sounds of Riley 'Dogpoo' Petsuki grumbling could be heard as he was loudly woken up.

''I want to watch Kyle getting butt fucked right now! I want my husband to eat out my pussy whilst I watch it right now!''

Wendy and Stan snorted in laugher at the comment whilst all they could hear was Dogpoo asking ''Wha … Who's getting butt fucked?''


End file.
